Hi guys,

I'm just clearing through a backlog of field reports I never got around to posting. You can read the previous FR here: http://redd.it/190jub

Anyways, I have two more after this one to post- This will be FR2. FR3 is about a night I attempted to wingman a friend of mine, and some of the critical mistakes I made that resulted in me failing in my duties. FR4 will be about a run-in with McKayla (Girl I had one-itis for) for the first time since I started changing my mindset. Anyway, without further adieu...

FR2: Campus Bar on Valentine's Day

I went to the bar on February 14th, as it was a campus event. I hadn't been around for a while, but the only reason I came was because my faculty (Psychology, if you're curious) was hosting it. Walk in, it reminds me of Cheers. Everybody knows my name, I shit you not. I can't walk more than five feet without someone saying hi. Realize it's a side effect of me being gone for so long, then I realized people actually missed me.

A side effect of my often shaky confidence in the past was that I frequently entered the mindset of where people wouldn't miss or care for me if I were to simply disappear one day. I expected entirely to walk back into a social group after weeks of being gone and for nobody to bat an eye. I've been proven wrong time and time again- Having a ladyfriend charge at you, tackle you with a hug, kiss you, all while going on about how she missed having you tends to open your eyes.

Back on topic...

I'm nervous at first since it's Valentine's day and my momentum had been fading, aided by some crisis of conscience and the resurgence of the one I had pined for over the previous few months. Thankfully, due to the fact there are so many familiar faces, I'm able to relax and unwind. Eventually I run into a girl [We'll go with 6 for this one] who I vaguely remember, but can't remember why. I just go along with it, until it clicks. I had been after her for a bit before I fell into my months long pining for McKayla. I wonder why she approached me, since if I remember last she was ignoring me. Then she asks me why I never called her after getting her number.

That's a bullshit lie, I did call. I just gave up. But before I go and say something to the extent of "But I did!" my brain goes "Hey, you. Shut up. Play along." So I did. Escalated. She throws a couple of shit tests my way. I'm having fun now, so I amplify and redirect it. Eventually she goes "I'm going home now, but call me. I want to come over some day."

Leaves me there. I'm floored. But at the same time, I'm entering some new social realm. I have a ridiculous amount of options now. Relationships and dating aren't the only options anymore... It's eyeopening. I realize it might have been social proof at work. I'm not entirely sure how it works, but it works, and damn well. Awesome. I decide I'll call her if I feel like it. Go meet up with a friend of mine, play a couple of games of air hockey, then head to a booth to join his girlfriend and her roommate. Roommate is a 9, at least, smoking. Brunette with long legs and damn good looks. Alpha female if there is such a thing. I feel hopelessly outclassed, and know it's gonna end badly. Still, she's monopolizing my friend's girlfriend's time, which is pissing him off. Decide to pull a solid, and crash and burn so he can maybe get some loving tonight.

Somehow being in the mindset where I didn't care worked. I accepted the outcome. I didn't try to do anything more than show a genuine interest in her as a person. I felt comfortable. I teased, she returned. Friends occasionally dropped by the table, saying hi. I introduced them to her, built some rapport. It didn't hurt that a sizeable amount of them were female. Eventually her shields came down completely, and we sat there for hours, talking about everything from sports to where we were from to what we wanted to do with our lives. It gets to last call, I offer to walk her home, she invites me in for a drink because it's "cold outside."

Thank god I have Fridays off.

TL:DR - Social proof got me the attention of a girl that I had shot myself in the foot with, and ended in a F-close with a woman I thought was out of my league; having a proper mindset helped.

Introspection & Long Term Analysis

From reading this and FR1, the first conclusion you're coming to is that things have radically changed for the better. It has. But what this night, and in particular hooking up with the roommate revealed to me is that as much as I'm adopting a new mindset and learning to live, I can't change overnight.

I'm still in the mindset where I'm constantly surprised by the attraction of a female. I still have a hard time accepting compliments and I tend to discount attraction too easily. For example, at the bar one of my lady friends called me "cute and charming." My first instinct was to assess how drunk she was, then discount her compliment as something a friend would say. It is something holding me back, but I do see it resolving itself given enough time, results, and self-confidence.

At the same time as much as I've been going out and working on my game, my mind does drift back to McKayla, a lot. I woke up in the roommate's bed, and instead of being all cheery about having a great time with an attractive and smart woman, the first two thoughts in my mind were:

"Too bad she's not McKayla. I wonder how this would be if it was her, though..."

Yeah. A lot of work to be done. But nothing worth it ever came easy, now did it?