I'm writing this like a diary for everyone to see so I hold myself accountable for the change I started and continue to make in my life that the book "The Game" and tofutofu showed me through this sub/r. this is a "feels" post from someone that lurked on there real account and never took into any real thought about diving in, until about three months ago. The story goes about three months I saw a picture of myself with my son on my lap (tearing up now) and I thought "wow, what a fucking loser" a 26yo single dad, who lives at home, recently bought his first car, balding, fat, hairy chest and back, freak with no more ambition, friends and social skills. I was going to kill myself that day with sleeping pills and a 1/2 gallon... and with all the heartache and stress I felt myself almost bounce off rock bottom and give up and die. But something else happened, instead of drowning in self wallow and pity and depression. I had one of those moments of clarity where you think a hypnotist snapped there fingers to wake you up. Instead of waking up, I opened I eyes to motivation and clarity. I just needed some help... So I begin by going to the gym religiously and scrolling through r/fit and r/swoleacceptance (corny but still a good place to read up on new routines to do in the gym) now -25lbs and three months later I see myself in another situation that snapped for me. I still am terrible with women. I have been with 4 my whole life and got my ex pregnant and couldn't make it last. Now I sit hear getting the feeling to change my brain around. That I will live the rest of my days alone, cold at night, with no interaction of any kind except with myself for as long as I'm alive. however I'm ready for another change, a change that I need. A social makeover... I'm sick of being friend zoned and just scared of women. I went on a date the other day and I knew I would blow it, even after reading everything I have here. We went to the movies, I wanted her to pick, I drove her home and waited like a needy dog in the car for her to get into her house and waive bye. No close of any kind, and you guessed it, no call back. Just another nice guy sent straight to the FZ. I'm going to follow tofu's guide and explore many other things as well. I just needed to get this off my chest and PUT MY MOTHER FUCKING FOOT DOWN!!! and be a man, and not some scared boy. I'm dedicating this name to this sub /r and most importantly my mind on any break through, field report or just plain advice. I've been the nice, funny, super strong, intelligent, giving, reliable, energetic, loud guy that my friends family and most of all, women in my life just love to have around. But not be anything more than just that friend to call when your boyfriend punched you or gives you an std because he cheated or fight someone harassing you at your apartment or bailing you out of jail because of a dui or crying shoulder when your dad left your mom or advice on getting rid of a psycho ex or a ride or a place to sleep (all are very true stories on all the women I want(ed)) this transformation begins now. This is the beginning dot and the ray your life is going to create. This tiny post on the internet is the base on which I stand and build on. If your reading this far thank you and sorry at the same time... I know this isn't the place to channel feelings but I'm too embarrassed to write it out and have someone find it... or on my real account and have one of my friends tease me in front of other (I have ass hole friends) it felt good to sorta let this out to strangers to see and now I'm done. thank you