I'm currently dating/in a vague relationship with a woman and I constantly have this looming uneasy feeling that she's not genuine with her feelings or the things she says. It's never possible to get into another person's head and they could say or do things that are contrary to how they feel.

I tend to be naive, very trusting of people and slightly idealistic. I've dated women who were warm, showing lots of interest but ended up being fake and were just lying/manipulating. I've had bad experiences so I'm a bit wary. I'm always apprehensive about the motives of the women I'm dating, as sometimes it's not really in my best interest.

As I was trying to sleep last night I kept asking myself questions about the girl I'm dating.

  • What are her motives for hanging out with me?
  • Is she using me or goes out with me because she's bored or lonely or does she really like me?
  • Is she dating another guy? Is she playing me? How much does she genuinely like me? Am I going to get screwed over? Is she the person she acts like?

Would it be acceptable to ask, "What are your motives to hanging out with me" to see what type of person she is.

For example, I like going on dates, but I don't want to waste my time going on dates with someone not worth it.

I feel doubtful, apprehensive, skeptical. I've seen her text log with various guys' names in there. What do I do about these feelings?