Girlfriend was taken advantage of when she was around 13. What's the best way to approach this?

2013-10-05T22:13:16+00:00

You do not understand the seriousness of this at all. I had a girlfriend for about three years who had been abused. It modeled her whole character as a coping mechanism. She is telling you this because she trusts you. If you cannot be in a relationship with her or don't feel capable of dealing with it tell her. For abuse victims it is very usual to feel like it was somehow consensual even if it wasn't. I caught myself getting jealous over it too when my girlfriend told me about it because of the way she told me about it. After a very long and very struggling relationship with her she is now in intensive therapy because she finally sees that there is something wrong with her view on sex and relationships. Her diagnose is PTSD. Don't be an asshole. Don't be pissed about anything. A lot of abuse victims have something similar to stockholm syndrome. Don't judge her for anything that she tells you about it. She is telling you the thing with the professor because she wants to have your opinion. You have to teach her self respect and a healthy way of thinking about sexuality. At some point in one of the many conversations with my girlfriend about that topic I said something like: "You don't have to have sex with me when I want it just because we are in a relationship" and she said that she never realized that and thought of it as her deed. If you feel like it is her deed you are the wrong person to deal with this. Tell her to see a therapist and end the relationship if you don't want to have her unhealthy relationships and be unhappy for the rest of her life.
Please ask if you have any questions because it is very important for me to help abuse victims and their partners. I have learned a lot in those three years and I want to help others because I saw this gorgeous girl I was madly in love with struggle with it every day because of the aftermath.
Edit: wording.

umbilicaljane · 2013-10-06T02:19:43+00:00

Going to be downvoted so much for this but my honest opinion is, I think it would be best to break this off. Both of you don't seem ready for a relationship, and you claim you guys aren't even exclusive yet.

You should work on your insecurities and she should figure out her issues before entering a relationship. It's going to end up messy. And it's already a mess beyond what game can help you with. Seduction tricks are not going to help the issues you mentioned in your fling in any way. Trust me on this, I've seen it happen way too many times and it's painful to watch it go down in flames.

40Watts · 2013-10-06T00:18:07+00:00

Don't

Title	Girlfriend was taken advantage of when she was around 13. What's the best way to approach this?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	October 5, 2013 9:45 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nt2ky/girlfriend_was_taken_advantage_of_when_she_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girlfriend-was-taken-advantage-of-when-she-was.1359390 https://theredarchive.com/post/1359390

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