Levitation is easy. From a standing position, pull one of your boots up from the ground, then the other. Poof: you're hovering. The term bootstrapping, which derives from this absurd notion, has been around since the 1800s. These days, it's used in computer science and business to describe the practice of creating something useful out of very limited starting material. It also perfectly describes the process of learning seduction.
It was a little over two years ago that I first happened upon this community. I soaked in all the content I could, gave some advice I wasn't really qualified to give, and made one or two popular posts. A few weeks later the subreddit hit 15,000 users. That was a pretty big deal. At that point, I had gone on three dates and kissed a few girls. Nothing more. Since then, I've tried dating around, monogamy, and strictly sex, hooked up with more girls than I can count, fallen on my face, and made more memories than I can remember. My numbers aren't astronomical - I've only dated 10 women and had sex with fewer than that - but that doesn't matter. I have arrived.
By this, I mean that the supply of women in my life outweighs my demand, and I can easily increase said supply. Qualitatively, I'm content with my current situation. Let's talk about how to get there.
DON'T bootstrap your confidence
"Fake it til you make it," right? Pretend to have confidence until you get a little, after which it builds off itself. The epitome of bootstrapping. Because we treat confidence as a positive trait, we think of it as an object able to be obtained. This becomes a source of frustration, and ironically, unconfidence, when people try to attain the unattainable.
In reality, confidence merely describes the behavior of individuals who anticipate a high likelihood of success for a given task. There's no shame in admitting that, based on previous experience, the desired outcome is unlikely. The key is to avoid dwelling over this fact. Confident people don't care because the odds of failure are too low to warrant consideration. You shouldn't care because to do so would be counterproductive. Success is always a possibility.
Bootstrap your wardrobe
Clothes are art and business. They allow you to express yourself, to literally display your heart on your sleeve. You are what you wear, and if you don't buy into it, too bad: our brains dictate that when it comes to impressions, appearance reigns supreme. And thus, your wardrobe represents an investment in your well-being. If you want to enjoy the company of women, professoional success, or better treatment in general, it makes no sense not to have flattering clothes.
Thankfully, you can get plenty of bang for your buck. There's a right and a wrong way to go about this.
Wrong way: buy a few flashy or expensive things that look awesome on their own but don't work with anything else you own. For example, button-up dress shirts with light blue jeans. Awesome tie with colors that match none of your shirts.
Right way: buy (nice) basics first. For example, dark jeans, which will look great once you get dress shirts, but also look fine on their own. Not skinny, but skinnier than what you have now. Also: fitted t-shirts. Not Under Armour snug, but more fitted than what you have now. A third of my everyday t-shirts were free, and the rest cost $10 or less at Target. They fit better than any other shirts I've owned. $100 can get you at least 2 pairs of jeans and 2 t-shirts. Whatever items you buy, avoid patterns until you have a good base of solid colors.
Bootstrap your body If you don't exercise at least twice a week, you have no business on this subreddit. You're only pretending to care about seduction if you spend time reading this junk but don't spend time maintaining your fitness. Forget improved appearance. Exercise is absolutely essential for mental clarity and emotional well-being. Good luck scoring women without either of those.
The good news is, it's never too late to start. After a week and a half or more of no exercise, the first few times are guaranteed to suck. Stick with it; you'll thank yourself later. Use women for motivation if you want, but it's not even about them. This is for you.
Bootstrap your sex life
Everyone prefers partners who know what they're doing; ability comes with experience; you lack experience. What to do?
Beyond simply getting more experience, I would say the three things that help most are:
Learn how to dance. I've noticed a very high correlation in women between skill in dancing and skill in bed. I assume the same applies to men.
Talk about sex. I never really lose my head during sexual activity, but women get pretty caught up in the moment. Use pillow talk to find out what they liked, ask what they want to try, say what you thought about it. In general, talk about sex even when outside of the bedroom - there's no pressure, no need for instant assessment and modification. All this applies even if you haven't had sex yet.
Experiment. With your hands and mouth. Again, this doesn't necessarily have to be in bed - during a makeout will do. Women have a surprising number of turn-on spots: ears, neck, hips, feet, etc. Do your homework and figure 'em out!
Software and startups have shown us how to build great things from next to nothing. I see no reason not to apply the same methodology to ourselves. Starting from scratch seems daunting, and we tend to be ashamed of our starting conditions. But lack of experience, lack of confidence, lack of style, or charm, are nothing - they're an absence, a void waiting to be filled. Everyone has some starting material to work with. So start building.
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