I was out having dinner with a friend/co-worker (female) one night, I wouldn't call it a date though. In te middle of dinner she outright told me "You have the looks, you have the body, the only thing holding you back is that you give too much of a fuck". She couldn't really elaborate but I know what she meant. I'm not generally not spontaneous, and subconciously, I care too much about pushing anyones boundaries. I feel hesitant all the time in conversations, I spend too much time thinking of what to say, and when I do finally get something, I blurt it out in almost incomprehensible sentences. The funny thing is there are occassions where I'm not like this. I have a job that I'm very good at, it's very high pressure and takes snap decisions at times. During these moments I'm totally alpha, confidence is up high, I take charge and run the show. Even some well timed witty banter comes out. This usually lasts about 30 mins after the job is done, its pretty much an adrenaline high. But during these times she is completely attracted to me. I can see it in her eyes and other women also. I can state with a certainty that If I was like this all the time, she'd be throwing herself at me. But she knows I'm not,so she holds back. I can't generate this state all the time .Its not that I want my friend, I'm past that. Its that I want to be able to be in that state all the time. That me would crush so many women. Any tips on how to accomplish this?

TLDR- Female friend says I'm physicallyh attractive, but I give too much of a fuck. I'm can turn completely alpha in a specific situation for a brief period , but can't turn it on at will.