I will keep this as brief as possible.

I am a 28 year old AFC. I am a firm believer in working on yourself and loving yourself before trying to attract women. It really is all about confidence.

From my perspective confidence stems from what you do and what you feel like you accomplish and what you put out into the world.This takes the form of hobbies, your social circle, and life pursuits.

When I was in my early 20s I had a lot more friends and found it easier to make them in general. I was really into mma/bjj/Kickboxing. I was very fit and very passionate about it. I had a lot more confidence. Then I got into an ltr and stopped a lot of my hobbies. I know, a huge mistake I will not make again.

I was a late bloomer and I mostly have experience with long term relationships(2 of them ). I'm not knocking casual sex but it's not what I am after.

The thing is I am told fairly often that I am good looking. I also consider myself fairly intelligent. Despite that my confidence is pitiful. Why? I don't have a strong social circle anymore. I also don't feel the same way about fighting anymore. I lost my passion. My "quest". As a result I feel like I have nothing to offer a potential gf.

My friend, for example is in a rock band. He's been at it for a while now and is a good guitarist. He belongs to a community of other bands. He can showcase his skill, has a large social circle, and can show a lady a good time. To me that is the ultimate in attracting a girl.

I like to program computers. I find it genuinely interesting. Code doesn't exactly get girl's panties wet though. I want to get good at drawing and painting but those are solitary activities. I work out at a rock climbing gym but my social skills have gone to shit and at my age it just seems harder to make friends.

I've lost my mojo and I'm trying to get it back. I need advice really bad because this makes me depressed. I have never had to reinvent myself and make new friends before and it's very discouraging.