I'll try to keep it succinct because I'm sure people aren't that interested in the background story, I decided about 6 months ago to stop trying at any kind of relationships and spend some time alone. This isn't a limiting belief or me giving up, I have just always liked spending time with just myself and I wanted to try it for an extended period. It has been semi-rewarding, but also not that great in other aspects.

Anyway, my problem is this. I recently decided to give that up and start seduction and maintaining relationships again, but it's gotten harder. On Saturday I went to a party and was talking to a girl who was attractive, receptive and overall seemed nice. I went through the motions, acted playfully, attempted to pass shit tests but I didn't follow it through to conclusion. I realized that I wasn't attracted to her very much in that moment, only retrospectively did I realize that she was attractive and I would like to spend more time with her. I then also realized that I had been doing the same thing with a few girls on that night, plus a few other nights. I only seem to feel attracted to girls when they aren't right in front of me.

Has anyone ever experienced this? Is there any specific way I can increase my desire to close in field? It's difficult to pull when you don't feel like it. It's like I don't want to play to win anymore, I just want to play.