One of the biggest cornerstones of my game has been arrogant humor. Emphasis on the humor - I always mean it in jest and for good fun. For example, in response to someone asking me if I "got lots of girls", my response was "I believe the technical term is a 'harem'." Or, when someone told me that "this conversation is going really well," my response was "Yeah, if you bring flowers you might even score a date with me." To which she actually brought a flower when I went to pick her up. Women just seemed to eat it up. But after having a conversation with a friend of mine, I'm starting to rethink that concept.

Because, in retrospect, it does seem kind of douchey. Maybe I'm trying to have the best of both worlds here, but I've always tried to have success by being charming - quite the opposite of douchey. I try to be an exception to the "women only go after jerkboys" stereotype.

I think what worked so well about the arrogant humor is that it is distinctly not needy or approval seeking. Everyone here will tell you that your approval should come within, and arrogant humor is pretty much the crystallization of that attitude into words. That kind of an attitude builds confidence and is attractive, I just wish it didn't come in so abrasive a package. It's a good starting point for the inexperienced, but should it be dropped once the inner game concepts behind it start to sink in?

I guess my question is, I'd like to move past this crutch. Are there other concepts that do the same thing? How would you reframe this concept so that it's more charming and less abrasive?

Is it just a matter of wording? Maybe too much cocky and not enough funny?