This post is a primer on the process through which one converts a tinder connection to a real life meeting, and subsequently on converting the real life meeting into a romantic relationship. It is based entirely on my own personal experience, but I believe the underlying method to be simple and adaptable for each persons individual situation.

The first question posed by tinder is whether to swipe or not. I have heard a variety of anecdotal reports of (particularly men) swiping right for nearly every woman. This is bad form. By blindly seeking validation about your attractiveness through the always-right swipe, you display a characteristic immaturity and lack of confidence in your own form and inner game.

To understand how to use Tinder, one must begin with an exploration of why it is an effective app. The answer to this question is also what differentiates it from other dating sites. By refusing to allow communication between persons who have not found their pairing attractive, the site induces women to use the site without fear of being inundated by messages from random men. This creates a distinct advantage for the site because it means more women will use it.

What this means for you is that your pairing with any particular women is rooted in a bottom level physical attractiveness that should be the governing modus operandi of your entire performance on tinder. Like all PUA theory, the assumption that your pairing wants you works tremendously to your advantage. The fact that in this case you have some actual validation of that fact enhances the utility of the app.

Understanding the structure of the tinder mechanism, we can explore strategies to maximize success. First we need to define what that means. Success in a tinder context means getting a face to face interaction with the woman that you are paired with. Nothing else matters.

Doing so is quite easy if you remember the central premise of tinder, which is that you are talking to someone that is already attracted to you. This should encourage brevity in your advances. Short messages that directly lead to face to face interactions are the ideal communications.

The content of those messages must belie the fact that you know the communication is with someone attracted to you. This means that there is no objective reason to try and make them attracted to you--they already are. Skip straight to the point and ask her out.

Finally, ask her out in a manner that is unique. My tactic has been to ask the pair to get tea with me, and it has worked spectacularly. By avoiding tropes about blind dates (that they occur at a bar, for instance) your pair will believe you to be unique even amongst her matches, who likely will use the standard, trite, "Hey, whats up?"

Postscript. I have been using a tactic on my dates that I think you will find effective. After picking the spot and time, I make sure to arrive 15 minutes early and bring a book. The book (I bring the book Cosmos by Carl Sagan) makes you look learned, provides something for you to talk about, and is an easy identifier (e.g., "Im at the bar reading" said when she arrives and is looking for you.)