I started messaging with a girl on OKC and met up with her. She's gorgeous, and was turning heads and getting catcalled by guys on the street as I walked with her. Years ago, I would have been so nervous around such a girl that I would laugh at all her jokes and nod my head compliantly as she told a story, regardless of whether or not I found it interesting. Lately, I've calmed down since then and treat everyone the same, whether it's my close guy friend or a girl on a date. When they're funny, I laugh. When they're interesting, I nod my head. But the big difference is that I don't force myself to do either. I maintain a level of calmness, comfort, and confidence, and I'll be damned if it doesn't do wonders for me. I started by faking comfort until it literally made me comfortable and calm.

Across the table in a quiet bar, we had a lively conversation. When she was funny, I laughed. When she was interesting, I nodded my head. But when she was neither? I didn't force a response. Nobody is funny/captivating 100% of the time, to be clear, including myself. She finished a story that honestly didn't have much of a punchline, and naturally I didn't have much of a response. I maintained eye contact and responded with "hm, yeah." She immediately was flustered, spinned her bracelet around her wrist and fired back with "annnnnnnnnyways haha, so tell me more about this concert last weekend!" The bracelet spinning is what tipped me off: she was nervous and expecting a different response, then quickly changed subjects to ask me a question instead.

Mindblowing? No not really, but seeing that response from a girl that made my hair stand up when we first met-- it affirmed advice from this subreddit that I otherwise would have placed in the category of "yeah but that would NEVER work with me. Keep having fun out there, it's a fun ride.