I see a lot of posts here of peoples' successes, which is great, but I wanted to share a recent experience which hopefully could be used as a learning experience.

My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me in September and it really brought me down, but I've done my best to fight it and move on to other people. I saw this cute girl from school, maybe an 8/10 or so, on my Facebook chat bar and was reminded that I still had her number. I had met her through mutual friends (who have since lost contact with her), but hadn't spoken to her for 3 years, which gave me an interesting level of familiarity alongside zero chance for being friend-zoned or rejected due to girl politics.

I ask her if she wants to get dinner, she says yes, I meet up with her and we hit it off. I'm bringing my A-game, and my strength has always been in my ability to be conversant and agreeable so I'm confident at this point that she's into it. We part ways with a hug and a promise we'll hang out over winter break and after finals.

Fast forward to last week when I tell her she should come over to my place to smoke and chill. I had to cancel at the last moment because I got food poisoning (actually) but she gave me a rain check and we hung out two days later.

This is where you should start paying attention: she comes over around 11:30PM after work, we smoke and are talking and I'm getting her to laugh. I'm sitting next to her, and while her body language is kind of cold and she isn't throwing herself at me, I see she is staring at my lips. I literally have my head turned to her and our faces are a foot away from each other... and I didn't do anything. I froze. I blew opportunity after opportunity to just lean in and kiss her and she eventually leaves at 1:00AM. IMMEDIATELY I'm aware at how hard I fucked up and how much of a pussy I had been. I'm now trying to get her to give me a second chance, and while it might happen, I'm kicking myself at this lost opportunity.

LESSONS TO LEARN:

1) If you're hanging out with a girl, especially when you're alone, you have to be yourself but you cannot relax. You're on the clock here, you're trying to entertain her, you're trying to get what you want and show her you know what you want. Wait until she knows you before you get casual and stop trying.

2) Be very careful about the mind altering substances you use. I'm aware that weed makes me goofy and makes me lose focus, it was stupid to get too high and forget that I was trying to kiss this girl. Being high made me overthink the situation, lose my concentration, overthink myself, and then cowardly avoid taking risks.

3) A perfect moment to lean in for a kiss is rare, but when opportunity knocks (and it will) you gotta muster up the courage to go for it. Don't be a pussy like I was.

4) IF SHE'S HANGING OUT WITH YOU ALONE IN YOUR APARTMENT, YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO MAKE A MOVE. Don't overthink it, just go for it and see what happens. If you're too much of a coward to risk the awkwardness of being turned down from a kiss, you aren't worth her time. If she rebuffs your advance, then she isn't worth yours.