There quite a few things I would like to talk about in reference to the this whole situation of self improvement , seduction etc with respect to my personal life. This is me just ranting about it.

  1. Am I too broken to ask for help? When I first started to read this subreddit, it was because I wanted to go out with a girl, but couldn't do it. Let me be honest I was needy, always wanted the appreciation of others, and could not stand a moment when someone did not like me. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to be in every one's good books. (Which is not to say that I am free of those things now. I'll get to that in a while). Thankfully, a day or two after iI started reading this subreddit, the top post here was bout a book called Models by someone called Mark Manson. The person who posted that, said that it was the only book a person will ever need if they want to be good with women. I picked up that book and finished it in a day. What was so riveting about that book was that I could relate myself to it in almost every other page. Every thing he said was somehow something I had done or been or wanted to do. That book has changed my life. In the recommended reading section of that book, Mark asks us to read another book called 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' by Dr. Robert Glover. I am in the process of reading that book and so far it has been having the same effect on me as Models did. I am able to relate to almost every page of the book so far. (20 pages into the book right now). The things which these guys say aren't rocket science. They are just plain truth.I mean I am reading these books and they are having an effect on me like no other books have. I have been seeing changes in my personality. Though I have still not changed completely. There are still brief moments I slip into my former needy, non-vulnerable, Nice Guy self. But they are helping me overall. Which brings me to my point. Am I too broken, that I need to help becoming a solid man from a book? These books are sure helping me, but I wonder what else I have been missing out on? What other areas in my life do I need help and am not even aware about it? These books showed me that I am OK just the way I am. Which is something that has LIBERATED me. Something to think about.

  2. Girls who intimidate you All said in the above paragraph, I am intimidated by girls who have a life. And when I say life, I mean friends of their own, their family etc. I am a regular guy. And I guess most of us here are. I like my job. I value education. I play games. Go out with my friends, who are also like me for most of the part. The thing is, (and this is not only with respect to girls) I take time to open up in social circles. With my close friends and family, I am the funny guy, I am comfortable in conversations, you get it. An all out cool guy. But it takes time for me to become that comfortable around new people. And this includes girls. And this has been hampering not only my chances with girls but in making new friends. I find it hard to make genuine friends after college. So I wonder if I can't make a connection with another human being as a friend, how will I even think of moving forward. If I forcefully put myself out there and try to make friends, it seems all fake and like a performance. Which Mark Manson asks us not to do. And which seems fair enough. Coming to my point. I am intimidated by girls, who have a life. Somehow I feel, I am not 'cool' enough. (See, this is my former self creeping up on me). And when I do try to forget all this and go out there, it feels like a performance. Like I am showing a person who's not me. I know Manson talks about demographics but that's not the problem here. I am attracted to the right demographics of girls and that's still not working out somehow.

  3. What are your stories? People who have read Models know what I am talking about. Basically, what Mark is asking here is what are our stories/reasons for not asking out that girl? Maybe we think she's 'that' kind of girl. Maybe we think she's a bitch(which may not be true). He says whatever those stories are, whatever the kind of girl we think she is, there IS a human being inside that person. And it's our job to find her. These stories are the reasons we stop ourselves from doing things we want to. Which brings me to my story. I have been brought up in a religious household. It's not that these values were forced upon me. My parents are religious and what they did was give me a choice. They never asked me to do what other strict parents do. I was given a choice and found that being religious is not bad and it may help you find the peace within that many try to find. Frankly, it has become a part of me. It has become my identity. And what am I if not my identity? And every time I want to ask out a girl, I feel like a hypocrite. I have committed myself to a life and it feels wrong to go against it. And I think that even this is okay. I think this is the way I am and it's just okay this way also. What do you guys think? (And please don't ask me to not live my life according to a book. As I have chosen it). See my dilemma here?

  4. You don't have the power to control the things that happen to you, but the power to react to them. This is again something Mark says in his book. And this has been helping me out. Now I don't whine over things. I just react to them in the best way possible Sure, this is taking time and I may not be the best at it, but I'm improving. And as all of you know this is an ongoing process. Which makes me wonder some things. Am I not ready? How long will it take for me to become a solid person? Should I hold out asking out girls? Also I am not a very handsome guy. I am tall, overweight (working on it and seeing TONS of progress), socially awkward guy. Should I wait to become a solid person?

The above are the questions that plague my mind. I'm just writing it out here to see if any of you guys have faced similar issues. And how have you dealt with it.