Hello, I am a guy who recently became 30, and I've been lurking for a while. Finally, I am posting this. I think I have suffered a serious case of one-itis for about 6 months or so. It was quite painful, but at the same time, helped me understand what kind of person that I want to end up with. I will eventually move on from her, even though I am in the acute phase for now.

So, I want someone who is intellectual, well-read, smart, not superficial, loving (quite important), with a good ties with her family members, mature, and last but not least, cute.

I have started going out with my friends to bars and such, but the girls I see there, clearly do not seem to be what I am looking for.

I just find all the conversations, and interactions that happen in a bar not so interesting.

So my question is, I just don't know how to find people like that.

Also another thing is, I know it is like double standard that I want someone non-superficial, but cute. I feel that way because I feel like at best I can be 4/10. I tried grooming and so on, but my body proportion, and how I look just don't seem to fit the standard beauty criteria. So, sometimes, I wonder if I am shooting to high.

I mean I do try to improve myself. I go to the gym, actively try to read books, learning how to play musical instruments. I have a decent job in medical profession too which will eventually be quite rewarding financially. So, I do think I have things to offer, but I feel like my looks are kind of initial hinderance...

Sorry, it was a long post.

I apologize for my non-perfect English. It is my second language. If you have any correction, or suggestions, do let me know.

Thanks.