I went to a festival yesterday and came to realisation that I consider interacting with others a chore and I am forcing myself to make the effort rather than being genuinely interested.

This discovery came about after starting my first 90 day cycle based on the Above the Game thread by TofuTofu. At the festival I met these guys who said I was awesome, we exchanged numbers and that they wanted to invite me every time they go out; I replied “Yes definitely” but at the back of my mind I was thinking to myself “well this is a long”. On way home, I realised that this has happen on multiple occasions, where I had been friendly and engaging enough that people (both men and women) wanted to be form a relationship but I do not warm to the idea of socialising with others, and the opportunity was lost. It is not that I don’t like other people, it is that I would rather be by myself.

What is the best way to resolve this? Based on my estimate I have feeling like this for about a year now.

Background Information

Up-to University: Poor social standing; I was the guy people used to pick on and make fun of.

University: Poor social standing; not much better. Still a bit of a social outcast, hit depression and came out no longer a self-loathing bitch.

1st year out of University: Poor social standing; enemies and negative people drew to me like a moth to a flame.

2nd year out of University: I read The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give it To Them. What I learnt: How to enjoy my own company, a positive persona, be happy, asset myself and basic dating skills. My online game that year was dates with 16 different women, 5 k-Closes, 3 F-Close. Started to hit the gym

3rd year out of University: Mediocre to good standing - Got the job I actually wanted, was invited to 3 separate holidays (all different people), went on one. Decided to focus on face to face interactions, and can now start a conversation with almost anyone.

Extra Information:

  • I am an introvert with no issue starting conversation with people I do not know. I can maintain eye contact with everyone except for HBs 100% of the time (2 years practice, and I regularly smile)

  • I generally come off as friendly and chatty (though admittedly this is sometimes nervous chatter).

  • People generally admire my outlook of life and doing what I set out to achieve. Bought a flat this year.

TLDR; I set out to on a journey of self improvement only to find that I am not being inclusive, and need advice on how to resolve it.