Seduction really isn’t that difficult once you learn the fundamentals. Like anything else, that’s the hardest part. All the fundamentals though are really easy. I like to look at seduction like volume and accuracy. I try to do everything flawlessly to as many women as I can. The logic is this, not everyone will be attracted to you. There are some things that will always be out of your control. Variables that you can’t calculate. When learning the basics, work on one thing at a time. Focus on each one for a few days. When you focus on too much at once, it becomes frustrating and you won’t be able to learn it as well as you need too. Now, let’s get to these fundamentals.

Confidence and Comfort

Without confidence and comfort, you are going to lose 95% of the time. You can’t fake these well enough, no matter what you do. There is a way to build up these two that is pretty effective. Talk to servers, bartenders, hostess, or any of the employees. Do mild flirts, but nothing extreme. You can do eye catches, casual conversation, etc. The point of this is, they are paid to be nice to you. You do this to three or four people, you should start feeling more comfortable and more confident.

Approach

I see so many people always talking about approaches, as if there needs to be a pick-up line or something unique to make you memorable. That’s bogus. The best approach is to simply walk up to them, hold out your hand and introduce yourself. (There are others, but again we are talking fundamentals here). The important part of this approach is to have confidence, feel comfortable, and have strong eye contact. The best way to have strong eye contact is to look for the color of their eyes. Memorize how long that takes you and eventually it’ll become a habit.

Be Game Ready

While this is seduction, another term for it is gaming. We say that we are gaming on women. Like all games, there are many different possible outcomes. When you approach a woman, she could show signs of interest, disinterest, or you just can’t tell yet. Each one of these steps, there are different things you can do, that lead you down yet another series of paths (Figure 1). What you need to know in your mind is what the likely outcomes are going to be. If you say something about her dress, she can respond with a simple thank you, she can talk about where she got it, or she could roll her eyes. You need to be thinking about that even before you say anything about the dress. By anticipating what she is going to say, in essence you will control the path of the conversation easier. While learning this fundamental, know that you aren’t going to be able to control the conversation, but just start to learn to anticipate what she is going to say next.

Body Language

This one is huge. As we know, body language does most of the talking for us. With body language, we will be able to size up our targets before they even know we are interested in them. A book I would recommend reading is called “What every BODY is saying” by Joe Navarro. Joe is a former CIA agent and the world renowned body language expert. You’ll learn tons in this book. Here is what I look for when I am looking at a target. I am trying to determine if she is receptive to anyone outside of her group approaching her. You can tell this by their stance being open. If their feet/legs are pointed away from the group, chances are they are bored and more willing to talk with other people. Also, if they are leaning away from the group, that’s another indication. A no go would be someone who has feet/legs turned towards their group and is leaning in towards the group. They typically are out to hang with them and don’t want to be bothered (wingmen help here, but that’s beyond fundamentals). Don’t worry about their arms being crossed if their legs/feet are out and they are leaning away. It means they are bored and feel uncomfortable. Women will even place their hand in front of their throat normally (hold their necklace) when they are uncomfortable. This is helpful to know when you are talking to a woman. If she starts to feel comfortable, she will normally lower her hand away from her neck. It also can let you know what topics she doesn’t like to talk about. Body language is huge. Learn it!

Don’t be beta

Women want alpha males. This goes in line with the comfort and confidence that was discussed earlier. This one is a little more difficult to learn, because you either are or aren’t alpha. Becoming one takes time. The problem is finding a balance. Too often, guys misinterpret Alpha with dick. In the seduction community there is a concept known as negging where you make a sly compliment that is meant to be insulting to someone else and lower their confidence. I don’t think that’s a great concept personally. Especially if you aren’t an alpha male, because you won’t know when to actually use it. Being alpha is knowing who you are, what your core values are and living by them, having ideas and viewpoints on things and not letting anyone sway them (but willing to listen and respect other viewpoints). You are happy with yourself and you do what you want. You might approach a woman, but you aren’t going to chase her, you’re better than that. Once they get to know you, they chase you. You don’t buy women drinks just so they like you, they buy you drinks. It’s difficult at first, but overtime, you can become alpha. Study what it is and force yourself to become it. It really does help.