Autumn and winter 2013-2014 was the time of playing games for me. I realized, that as a wealthy man with stable financial situation I can finally buy myself as much games as I want. So I bought few consoles and a lot of games and played them and during the play I exercised on stationary bike, up to 2 hrs 30 mins (and this way of exercise built my legs and gave me a lot of fat on my belly, don't do SIT, do HIIT, but that's another story).

On 6th of March, after being called "shit" by my wife in front of my kids after 7yrs of marriage, I decided I quit. After I decided that I want the divorce, suddenly games are not cool anymore for me. I changed my exercise routine and during HIIT it is pretty impossible to focus on any game, so I rather watch YouTube while training. So, why don't I play?

I found myself a new game. The Game.

And then, another realization came.

Today, in the bath tub, I masturbated. I realized, that the most exciting thing to think about was my wife cheating on me, being fucked by some alpha cock in the club (why not, she went out with her friends a few times).

So then I thought, what the hell am I doing. Maybe I am causing such situations (wife cheating), because I subconsciously want to see something like that. Maybe that's why my marriage failed. Maybe - on the other hand - my wife is totally unattractive to me and I'd rather think about her being fucked hard by other man, than cum while thinking of fucking her.

But that's another story, but I write it here anyway, because somebody with similar thoughts in the past can post something useful for me, right?

Anyway, let's get back to the point.

The deal is, after finishing, I felt somehow empty and get back to my typical "hamster" routine, "get the woman, get the woman", started to think, what do I wear today and how to look good and where to pick up another girl...

And then, like with the computer games, I realized...

What the hell do I want from this woman?

Do I want to be an alpha? Fuck her hard and leave soon after? I don't want this, on an emotional level.

Do I want to be a beta? Bring her flowers, so she will cheat on me in exchange? I don't want this, because this is not okay for me.

I suddenly realized, that I will NOT get what I want from women.

Somehow in my development, I had an idea, that I can get closeness, respect, adoration from a woman and started chasing women thereafter.

I will NOT get such things from a woman. I don't need those things from a woman.

I can give those things myself.

And suddenly, the woman chase does not look as attractive as it was in the past.

Yes, I am reading "Book of Pook" but rather I look at it as a manlines guide, not a pickup solution. I got a lot of information about manlines from my father, unfortunatley, he had some personal disturbances and I am still putting pieces together, what was cool about this guy, what is not.

The woman chase looks for me like playing an Xbox game now.

Why should I play "Red Dead Redemption", when I can literally WALK to stables near my home in under 15 minutes and pay $10 USD for horse riding lesson? Why play "Red Dead Redemption" when I can learn how to shoot, as I am a grown up man now?

Don't get me wrong, PS4 stays here, because it has great graphics and I had that cool arcade-like feeling when friends came over and we played NFS: Rivals.

But Xbox has to go.

Just like woman chasing.

For what should I chase a woman?

Closeness? Which woman in the past filled my void for closeness? INCLUDING MY DEAR MOTHER?

Trust? Hahahahahaha, don't make me laugh. I got some GUYS I do trust. Not fully. Woman? ROTFL.

Sex? Both "Book of Pook" and many posts here AND my thoughts in the past... no, I don't want sex. Prostitutes are cheap. Masturbation is even cheaper. Porn's getting better and better.

Validation? Geez. I know that jungle drum-n-bass music rules my world, I love it. Why did I want a woman with similar music tastes in the past?

Long term relationship with children? I have 2 children already and I am getting divorced. Any coments? No, I don't want the risk of woman suddenly changing after birth. Fuck that shit. And the beta-provider, I already described.

So what do I want from woman?

Nothing.

In the past, I did not know, where to go and what to do.

Today, I still don't, but things won't be long like this way.

People around me NEED me. I have my skills. People here need me to use those skills and raise the wealth in my city, because that's what I am supposed to do with those skills, not bury them, but USE them.

Why the hell should I forget about my skills and chase women instead? And what would I do with that woman later?

Suddenly, the act of pursuing woman becomes as dull as playing an Xbox game.

I'd rather go out for some skating instead. Or meet some new people at my local gym.

This is the real Red Pill, this is the real meaning of "Book of Pook" - for me.

The chase is over.

What do YOU want from woman, if you pursue them badly?

What did you want in the past?

If you are still a blue pill and chase woman - what will you do with her, when she's yours?