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Daydreaming/keeping mind occupied

bintopping · 2016-04-08T22:33:10+00:00

Went from imagining myself with one girl for 2 years but never approaching her. Finally approached her, nervous as all hell, seemed to be equally interested,...

bintopping

April 8, 2016

5 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Daydreaming/keeping mind occupied
Author	bintopping
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	April 8, 2016 10:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4dys5e/daydreamingkeeping_mind_occupied/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/daydreamingkeeping-mind-occupied.1405116 https://theredarchive.com/post/1405116

Comments

[–]GargantuaBlarg29 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Many, many things to comment on here:

2 years but never approached her

What was your relationship with her for those 2 years? Did she show ANY IOI's in that 2 year period? If so, you likely missed your window. Women are fast to close that door after showing interest and not getting a response. If she did not, NO IOI's in 2 YEARS it's likely she isn't interested.

No text back

How long did you wait after getting her number to text? What did you text? How long has it been since she 'hasn't texted back'. And the big one....why are you texting her. I get it, anxiety over the phone is the likely cause, but texting should be short, sweet, and only used to set up meeting place and times. "Going to Eddie's Bar at 8 if you want to come".

How do I stop daydreaming

There's advice all over that says you have 10 seconds from when you see a girl you'd like to approach to approach her. The reason for this? To stop daydreaming...to stop your mind from creating all the excuses and scenarios and bullshit that fill your head with anything but how to get her number. Any time you delay also gives you time to get 'insanely nervous'. Just think if you approached within those 10 seconds 2 years ago how much of your thinking you could have devoted to things other than her.

How do i Keep my mind occupied with other shit?

What other shit do you have going on in your life? What hobbies are you doing? If your mind is so clogged by daydreaming about girls that you know it's a problem, get another hobby. Running, lifting, model trains, knitting, boxing, whatever floats your boat. It'll fill your mind and guess what...give you something to talk about when you do approach.

[–]bintopping[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]GargantuaBlarg29 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

From the intro it sounds like it has some promise. I think about it like this though. IF I catch her giving me IOI's, then every time she does it and I dont immediately approach, she likely thinks "either he isnt interested or doesnt have the balls to approach me". Those can add up. You may still be golden and her door still open, you'll know soon enough, but it's just an odds game and your odds go down the more negative thoughts she has.

Hey, it's ___, we spoke earlier".

Not a bad text, but 2 things here. 1) (And this is minor) be careful with the 'we spoke earlier'. It puts you in a slightly negative light. IE "Do you remember me? The guy you spoke to earlier?". She remembers, but is now asking herself 'Is he someone I shouldn't remember?'. 2) Since it was a relatively gentle text, not one based on her answering on a timetable (going to Eddies at 8....so you'd imagine she'd answer by 8) then dont be surprised if she doesnt get back to you right away. You said that you texted 9 hours after you spoke, but not how long it's been since you started thinking about 'accepting rejection'. Has she not answered in days? Hours? Minutes?

Busy for coffee

I'm reading this as you asked her for coffee immediately or shortly thereafter and she said she was busy but gave you her number? A good sign. But she's busy for coffee then...so you don't want to give the impression that you're schedule is completely open. So i'd break it down like this:

-If you get a number and the setup of an immediate date fails (as yours did) wait a day or two minimum...especially on a weekend. Make her think you have those hobbies you need to get. That you're doing things outside of thinking and planning for her. Read /u/SedoucheMeBaby recent FR about how he even gets invited on an outing next day but declines, showing his girls that he has shit he wants to do that rank above them.

-If you get a number and do not setup an immediate date...a quick text with 24 hours to set one up is acceptable.

[–]bintopping[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I spoke to her, her friend pretty much backed off and let us talk, and then I just said "you wanna meet up for coffee tomorrow?" she asked what day it was, and said she was busy but immediately without giving me a chance to even say a word offered her number. either she was just trying to get rid of me, or wanted me to actually text her. either way, it's her real number, linked to her snap chat. but yea idk at this point if sending another message would count as a double text considering what my first one said. I should've added a "you said you were busy tomorrow right?" to the text but hey, I think of good things after I complete the task as usual lmao. but yea what do you suggest I do? been a good 2 days, messaged her 9pm on Wednesday and it's 8pm Friday currently. either I move on completely or try and see what happens. just don't wanna come off as needy and as if I can live without her.

[–]GargantuaBlarg29 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

So you fall under scenario 1 that I mentioned and tried to setup an event in person (for Thursday) but that failed. I would have personally waited at least a day after Thursday to initiate contact again. But that's in the past.

been a good 2 days

Here's the reality of the situation. If Brad Pitt got her number at 12 on Wednesday and texted her at 9pm on Wednesday, would she have sent a text back by now? Highly likely. She would have been waiting for the text/call...been giddy when she received it, waited just long enough to try and show she's not ga-ga over him, and then responded. Watch what she is (is not) doing and take it as a free pass of how you rank in her eyes. Currently you can conclude you rank at the level of a guy who she doesn't feel the need to (or forgot to) reply to for 2 solid days. Now I know what you're thinking! "But what if she really had something come up? A relative died maybe??" Then you're next move should be the same regardless. Nothing. If that really happened then she will get back to you and apologize. But if not, then you should still do nothing and conclude that she's not interested.

If you REAAAAALLLLY are feeling desperate or just want to cast the line one more time, you could try to contact again after a MINIMUM of 3-4 days after Thursday...but make sure you really are okay with accepting rejection like you said in your first post..."my life is full of cool shit and it'll continue to be cool regardless" should be your mindset throughout all of this.

[–]bintopping[S] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link