Whenever I end up trying to take the next step with a girl, I fuck myself over.

I'm hoping this is the right thread, it's seemed to give me the best results on my last post so I figured I'd try again.

I need advice -

Whenever I end up "talking" to a girl everything goes fantastic for the first week or two. We hangout, go on adventures, and just have fun in general and then out of no where I start driving myself insane thinking "what if she's not really into me and she's just letting me spend money and time on her?" Or "she's probably talking with other guys right now" They're not necessarily giving me reason to think any of this, but they're also not giving me reason not to. This recently started with the last few girls I talked to and has been happening rather frequently and I don't know how or why it started considering I used to be the most laid back guy ever.

How can I stop thinking like this? It drives me crazy and I'm almost certain it's ruining my chances with girls. I've never been insecure before and I don't know why it started.

TL;DR : I let my insecurities (or trust issues?) get the best of me when talking to a girl, ultimately ruining my chances with them.

[–]Mr_Mac_Pro1 points 10 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Hmm.. I understand where you are coming from, is it possible for you to shed some light in regards to why you think this?

For example: Situations with these girls. Messages. Differences in attitudes from them.

It could be that you're not making a move fast enough and they're getting "bored" of you, but don't take that as advice, I need to know the whole situation first! :P This used to happen to me not that long ago, but! Don't take it as advice... If you think it could be the issue, go with the mindset that this person does like you, (With limitations).. Don't be like "omg let's just get it on right now" Touch her from time to time, flirt every now and then:

Walking across the street put your arm on her back as if you're protecting her, when you first see her, initiate a hug (Lol sound technical "INITIATING THE HUG, ACTION STATIONS!) and then step back and ask her how she is and have your hand on her upper arm (Giving a sense of care). These are just examples, look through out this subreddit!

[–]Excitedrat 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not exactly sure if this is why but the last girl I had talked to we had been friends for about 3 years or so. We had kinda been off and on those 3 years just because I wasn't really sure how she was feeling ( I am absolutely terrible at reading signs heh) . At the beginning of this year i got a text from her saying something along the lines of "Why haven't you made a move yet?" And so the next time we hung out I made a move and it went well. About a week or so later I made myself a Twitter and started adding people with her being one of them. I looked at a few of her most recent posts and it turns out she had been talking a lot of shit about me behind my back as well as talking to another a guy ( not just like normal as friends or what not ) and so I calmly confronted her about it and basically broke all things off with her.

I forgot to mention that the couple times over the last few years that she showed interest I would always drive myself crazy with the thoughts in my main post and so I would try to impress her by paying for everything and driving everywhere in hopes of making her like me. (I realize now that that was a stupid mistake)

I have never been insecure with girls before for any reason and then shit hit the fan while talking to this one and I feel it has continued to affect me with the girl I'm currently talking to

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Whenever I end up trying to take the next step with a girl, I fuck myself over.
Author	Excitedrat
Upvotes	4
Comments	3
Date	April 14, 2016 7:56 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4eq5cj/whenever_i_end_up_trying_to_take_the_next_step/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whenever-i-end-up-trying-to-take-the-next-step.1405377 https://theredarchive.com/post/1405377

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