When I look back at all my successful hook ups, its always when I was able to invoke some kind of pleasure on a girl: When i was younger i used to go to rave's alot and take drugs, it was a touchy, high kino environment (massages and just general fun kino that easily escalated to kissing, then more...).

Now i know seduction is all about pleasure and making someone 'feel' something (good or bad). Just feeling something becomes addictive, and they want more.

Now I am in my 30's I find tinder dating etc. becomes too much of rigid "lets see what they look like, if they seem cool and grounded, will my friends like them, do they have money, style, etc.".... BUT how in these situations can you break that regime, and create some magic? Apart from language, and general kino, how can you introduce more elements of pleasure to have her feeling something and wanting more?