See hot woman>>> think about approaching>>> get nervous>>> remember some game principles read online>>> still be nervous>>> she’s too far now>>> fear turns into a frustrated ‘what if?’>>>hours later you have some clever ideas of what to say and a daydream of a great approach.

This was a cycle that I went through at least a few times a week for the better part of a year. The bitch that is approach anxiety had me by the balls. It’s better for some, worse for others, but we’ve all been there.

I’d like to share my techniques for lowing Approach Anxiety in the moment for those who are still there. Not the underlying mindsets about yourself and women and game. Those can be found easily. Even a rock star will get rejected sometimes, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, no one actually notices you hitting on her, women are more likely to give a polite thank you than be a bitch, etc. Those are all great, and true and you should internalize them. However right now I’m talking about things you can do besides affirmations.

I’m talking about developing a pre approach routine that leaves you cool, calm, collected, and in just the right zone to have a girl head over heals for you from the go.

I developed my pre approach routine by considering a few things:

  • How do people suppress nerves generally?
  • What is my biggest motivator to doing all this game in the first place?
  • What is MY biggest tell that I’m nervous/uncertain?

The last one is subjective and will depend on each of you, but the first two are pretty universal.

The most common symptom for nervousness is a quicker heart rate and breathing. So no matter who you are, your pre approach routine is going to benefit from taking deep, slow breaths. Along with calming me, I also find that this leads to me speaking slower on approach, and talking too fast is what all beginners do.

I don’t know about you, but my motivation to do all this game in the first place, is to have sex with women I find attractive. I’m sure there’s a weirdo or two out there who’s in it for validation, or to prove something but, if you have any shot of being successful your sole motivator is your love of women and how much you want them to be on your bed naked. So before you approach, harness this motivator. Focus on how hot she is to you, and on the particular things that make her attractive you. Even if you’re not looking to fuck her two hours after you meet her, even if you want a solid long term relationship you take your time getting into, you can still benefit from focussing on this raw desire.

Now the last part of this routine depends on you, the individual sedditor.

What is YOUR biggest physical tell that you’re nervous during an approach?

For me it’s the timber of my voice. I’ve been told by girls on my bed that my voice makes them wet and not to stop talking. I’ve recorded a set where I was nervous as shit, and I sounded like if spongebob was petrified or something. So, being that my voice is a huge tell for me, I clear my throat and do a deep, quiet “mhm" before I approach.

Think about what your biggest physical tell is. Is it being stiff? then twist your back to loosen it up and shake your hands out a little. Is it Your feet pointing in? spread your feet and legs farther apart. Is it head scratching or hand twiddling? Put one in your pocket so you don’t do that.

So there you have it (tl;dr): Breathe deep, focus on how attractive she is and why, address your personal tell of anxiety.

It seems simple, but it can make a dramatic difference, especially when your mood was shit before seeing her. It’s how I got past the most frustrating sticking point in all of game.