I'm 20 years old and I have been lurking seddit for a while, poring over articles, game tips, and field reports. I believe I have cultured the game necessary to seduce, as I can have flirty conversations with females. But, for what I believe are the following reasons, I can't "get around" for the life of me.

I'm physically unable work out. My shoulders are beyond fucked from years of gaming and sculling in middle/high school. My GP said I cannot work out until I complete physical therapy. Honestly, though, at this point, I think I need surgery, and some other medical professionals I have consulted told me just that. Problem is, I can't afford either. I also am unable to run due to nerve damage in my toe from medical malpractice years ago.

I was actually fired from one of my recent bussing jobs after a month because I was "too slow" - At the same time, my incredibly rich and attractive friend (who was hired a month before me and basically got me the job) was promoted to server. I was trying to work my way up to server at my other bussing job for nearly a year before that. Speaking of attractiveness, my face is okay looking, but I have a large, red nose with noticeable pores. It was also previously broken when a kid punched me in middle school and it healed slanted to the left, as my parents and I didn't realize it was broken and never went to the hospital. Dermatologists recommended Epiduo for my rosacea (which works well enough) but it's too expensive for me to afford. There's apparently nothing I can do about the pores. And again, I can't afford surgery to reconstruct the cartilage. I've thought of starting a GoFundMe for all of my medical needs, but compared to other campaigns, mine would seem incredibly trivial and even egotistical. So, I'm stuck being an average looking skinny-fat fuck. Which leads me to the fact that...

I've always been kind of a "fuck", if you will. I was bullied extensively as a kid (and even now that I'm in the workplace) due to my severe ADHD and social awkwardness. While I'm now taking medication for my ADHD, it doesn't stop me from being physically jittery. I am always slightly shaking, which girls have commented on while I hold them. I have grown out my social awkwardness (as I learned how to act in my high school show choir) and use that skill as a "veil" in social interactions. This is how I can handle flirting with relative ease. It is, however, mentally exhausting to always be putting up an act, and I'm frankly getting tired of it.

I should mention that I have also always been the goofy kid (not in the popular, class-clown kind of way.) I'm a lanky blonde guy and just give off that derpy feeling whenever I walk or move around. I've been trying to change this persona for years, but to no avail. I've learned to accept it, but I can tell it's definitely a turn off to the opposite sex.

Yet, my largest problem seems to be that I'm "boyfriend material". I'm 6'2, white, and was gifted with a baby face. I know I can (and do) act cocky and flirty, but I just don't give off the same, well, "man" vibe that seemingly every male gives off but me. That's the thing, though, I'm a metrosexual, and I love it. I spend time on my hair. I wear Denim & Flower dress shirts, my chinos from JCPenny, and anything Tommy Hilfiger. I'm not going to become more "manly" just so I can finally pull.

The boyfriend vibe was confirmed to me when a girl I've been trying to f-close for a while now told me two nights ago that she wants a relationship or nothing. I had told her that we weren't exclusive in the beginning of our "thing" (which consisted of her and I going on dates and making out extensively.) I attempted to finger her once and she rejected it, explaining it by not saying much, being vague, "I just don't want to", etc. Because I'm a kind, considerate human being at heart and believe you don't have to be an emotionless fuck with your partners, I responded with, "Whatever you feel comfortable with." I suppose that's the boyfriend vibe showing, but I'm not throwing it away. I want my sex to have emotion and to be romantic, but with no strings attached.

What really kills me is that during the amicable conversation that occurred after I told her we were "nothing" in response to her ultimatum, she admitted that she fucked a previous fuckbuddy soon after I had told her I'm not exclusive. I have not had sex for months. The guy was some family friend she met at Taekwondo (obviously fit). She said they were "sexually compatible." Implying I wasn't, as I could barely lift her up.

All this has sent me into a deep depression, which is starting to cloud every area of my life. I'm now starting to feel that girls in general, even a petite, cute white girl (my type) wont want to get with me for a one night stand due to all of these compounded problems. Help me, seddit. You're my only hope.