So I have a lot of friends. The thing is though, if I don't initiate conversation with them on a regular basis over Facebook or discord or whatever, they seldom ever talk to me. Years ago I would have old high school or university friends (often women) initiate conversation with me but Since my self esteem was low I wouldn't know what to do with them.

One of my good friends has usually three or four active conversations with friends, men and women, but more often he just wants to be left alone. He's a tech artist, he's clever, funny, and has useful information to give people. I would like to have as much value in the eyes of others that I can have people want my time like they want his - I'm an artist, I'm good enough at my job but until 3 months ago I have been a shut-in. One of my best women friends I only have because I make an effort to reach out to her on a regular basis, and we have great conversations, but she never reaches out to me.

Simply put, how can I demonstrate my value (assuming I have it) to people so they want my time, both in platonic friendships, relationships and professional circles, without coming across as needy of their time?