I've been putting off approaching women...well my whole life, but I need to start doing it. Not just because women are nice, but because I ultimately want a good life partner, and one that I have chosen out of the many women out there.

To cut a long story short, I made my first approach today. (yay)

It was in a shop, no one around but her and me, I went into the shop to ask a question, then half way through talking to her I realised she's actually pretty nice. I leave, decide this will be my first time and I'm not going to cower out. So walk in, look her in the eye, theres a pause, then tell her she seems pretty nice, then ask if she has a boyfriend, she says no but is kind of seeing someone, so I say that means it would be inappropriate if I took her out for a drink sometime, she umms and ahs then says yes, I say well if it doesn't work out how about she takes my number and gets in touch, she says sure, I put my number in her phone, I leave.

I like this method. I'm a little bit autistic, and pretty socially awkward and introverted - so I like the direct approach. Straight to it, no pussy footing around, and no gaming.

I also like the simplicity of it, and feel more comfortable approaching someone with the simple interaction of 'you seem nice', 'would you like to go on a date sometime', rather than approaching someone having in mind that I must hold a conversation with them for however minutes before asking them for their number.

I feel much more comfortable talking to someone in a situation where they have shown an interest in being there (i.e. a date). So the way I view an approach and number getting is basically an in and out job then do the getting to know each other well later. It's probably a combination of knowing that sometimes having a conversation isnt going ot be practical, e.g on the street, or in a quiet book shop, but moist likely because I want to know if she's interested first before we properly start getting to know each other. Trying to have a conversation for X minutes then asking for her number just kind of feels fake / difficult / not direct.

I know that the 'correct' way to do it is to take for 5 / 10 minutes, see if there's a spark, and if she's worthy of your time ask her for her number because you want to find out more about her, but for the above reasons I just don't feel comfortable with this method.

So..my question is, is my method fine? i.e. more direct and honest quickly moving it onto to getting her number so we can get a drink etc some time.

If it is, then I'd like to refine it to the optimum interaction (obviously there can be waffle around the key points).

I just like the idea of having some key points I want to get across to a girl I'm approaching and the rest be filler or maybe nothing at all.

  • 'You seem nice.'
  • 'Do you have a boyfriend?'

If no - 'can I take you for a drink sometime?'

If yes - 'well how about you take my number incase it doesn't work out?' (or something along those lines)

I think the strength of saying these things is that it demonstrates honesty, and going after what you want. Asking if she has a boyfriend is like scouting out whether she can be yours..idk..it just seems like it might sound dominant. But anyway, asking if she has a boyfriend feels like it gives the interaction more meat, like I'm more man.

Saying:

  • 'You seem nice.'
  • 'can I take you for a drink sometime?'

Just feels too simple, like something a child might say.

...but maybe asking if she has a boyfriend before I've mentioned that I want her number / a date might just be too weird, and kind of freak her out.

So what do people think?

If this in and out method is a fine approach, then are these things good things so say, and in this order? Do you have any other suggestions?

I also thought the interaction could take a funnier tangent:

  • 'Do you have a boyfriend?'
  • 'Yes'
  • 'Do you want a better one?'

General advice on whether it sounds like I'm doing it well or badly would be welcome..