Your first approach of the day will almost always be thrilling. It’s like jumping off a high-dive. After that first leap, each subsequent approach becomes less challenging.

 

Social momentum is a powerful phenomenon that is important to be aware of. When you arrive at a venue, it may feel like the entire night will be anxiety provoking, but as soon as you take that first leap, the anxiety will begin to dissipate. The more you learn to trust in this fact, the easier it will become to approach despite any emotional resistance you feel.

 

Your first approach will not only reduce the weight of anxiety on your shoulders, but it will build momentum by causing what is known as psychological inertia to work in your favor. In physics, inertia is the law that objects at rest stay at rest, and objects in motion stay in motion. In psychology, inertia is a phenomenon of decision making, it is the reason that starting an exercise routine is often more difficult than finishing a routine you’ve already begun. Once you approach a woman, your mind lets go of its resistance to taking action and each subsequent approach requires less effort because psychological inertia starts to work in your favor.

 

There are three steps to building social momentum:

 

1.Don’t discriminate: In any particular environment, only a small percentage of women will be attractive to you. If you only approach these women, you will only have a few ‘opportunities’ on any given night, and you will only spend a slim segment of your night actually interacting with women. Instead, approach everyone in the environment, and with most women, just flirt to have fun, when you meet one you like, flirt with real intent. If you have trouble interacting with women you don’t find sexually attractive, it signals that you are taking value, that you’re trying to get something. If you can have fun with women that you don’t want to ‘take’ sex from, you are coming from a place of offering value, and when you do this, all women will find you more attractive, not just sexually, but socially.

 

2.Don’t hesitate: At the end of each interaction, approach someone else immediately. If as a habit, you return to your group of friends after approaching, break that habit. Time spent between interactions allows your momentum to depreciate, but if you do consecutive approaches with no hesitation in between, you will find yourself getting out of your head and into your body, into a flow state in which your normal limitations don’t apply.

 

3.Escalate: As you take action, make sure to push yourself further over time. If at first you just introduce yourself, in future interactions you can initiate physicality, or ask women for their phone numbers. It would be a good idea to strategize how you intend to push yourself further as the night goes on, for example you could write:

 

a. When I arrive at the venue: I will approach women indirectly, and ask how their night is going. b. After I am comfortable with indirect approaches, I will approach women more directly, by saying, “I liked your style, and I had to say hi.” c. After I am comfortable with this, I will attempt to lead each interaction forward by asking the girl I am talking to if she would like to dance.

 

Even if you are new to cold approaching women, using social momentum, you can potentially take actions that are far outside of your usual comfort zone, and potentially even get results that normally only someone with much more experience would be able to get.