I've been single for over three years. Initially, I coped quite well and dated some girls that I was interested in during my previous relationship. However, after several encounters with my ex-girlfriend, my self-esteem took a hit and I found it challenging to be with other women.

The crux of the problem lies not with my ex, but with the girls I've been with since. Over the past three years, I've been with four girls and had unenjoyable encounters with two. Despite their lack of response to my invitations and messages, I still find myself trying to maintain contact with them. Upon reflection, I believe this is because they once took notice of me, which makes them a "safe" option for me to return to.

I need advice to break free from this cycle. This situation reminds me of a quote from Marcus Aurelius: "Don't you see how much you have to offer? And yet you still settle for less."

I'm frustrated with my current predicament. I'm aware that my desperation is palpable to the girls I interact with. How can I break free from this cycle? How can I feel better about what I have to offer so that other women can perceive it too?

Please don't hold back. I genuinely want to improve.