You just went soft in bed and can't get it up. What do you do/say?

LocomotiveEngineer · 2017-08-18T23:54:38+00:00

What goes up must come down

Picksstuffup · 2017-08-18T23:56:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2017-08-19T02:06:09+00:00

It's not much what you say. Focus on relaxing. Learn relaxation methods (meditating, deep breathing, autogenic, mindfulness etc)

Be happy with your softness and be happy with being with the girl. "Look I'm soft! Sucking my soft dick may look and feel good" should be your thoughts.

You still get to sensually touch a warm, naked girl anyway!

This can be a great opportunity to learn how to let go of outcome.

If you project disappointment on her face and worry about that, you got work to do.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-19T02:13:52+00:00

[tl;dr] what do you guys do/say when you go soft during sex? Any baller things to say that keep women just as interested as they were when you were hard?

Say? Nothing needs to be said. 99% of women are going to have sympathy and want to support getting you "back online," so to speak.

They're already interested, and besides, the whole show isn't about your cock anyway. In the end, she'll be happy if she comes and most women don't come from vaginal sex anyway.

See where I'm going with this?

I suffered from performance anxiety for a while and NEVER knew how to deal with the situation....

The main thing is not what to say or do about it. This feeds into a mindset of "gotta fix it," that usually makes matters worse.

The main thing is to focus on all the sensations, rather than focusing on the current inflationary status of your cock. Focus on her noises and the feel of her body next to yours.

Work on her orally for awhile. And she's got a whole body to touch. If she goes for your cock, don't stress about it. Let her play with it if she wants. You might even transition into some 69.

Also, there's usually a point in time when you start going soft but still have some hardness. This is normal and not a big deal. A lot of guys panic at this point and bring themselves to complete failure.

Overall, it's your attitude that's important. Shit's going to happen. The key is to focus on the feeling and know that it can come back or might not go away completely in the first place, if only you calm the fuck down and focus on enjoying yourself and bringing pleasure to her.

The other night, I went to HB8's house after meeting her at a bar and dancing with her. Her place was a 15-minute walk from the bar and we drunkenly made out the whole way there. I was rock hard all the while until just shy of 2 minutes into having sex.

So stop drinking so much. That's part of the problem.

Exercise some restraint with your drinking and it helps a LOT.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-19T02:14:01+00:00

This post was removed because it belongs in /r/sex.

Title	You just went soft in bed and can't get it up. What do you do/say?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	August 18, 2017 11:30 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6ulnhl/you_just_went_soft_in_bed_and_cant_get_it_up_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/you-just-went-soft-in-bed-and-cant-get-it-up-what.1432233 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432233

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