What am I doing wrong?

chadbhava · 2017-10-07T22:31:29+00:00

Depending on how many matches you get, you have different room for experimenting. If you get a lot you can literally copypasta this post to them and have little to lose.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-10-08T04:34:44+00:00

__1__

I start out by talking with them and then quickly grab their phone number.

Firstly, you don't need to quickly get their number. There's no need for it until a meet has been agreed to. Rushing to get it before that point, serves little to no purpose.

__2__

I then just ask them basic stuff like where they go to school etc and finish by asking them out. After I ask them out I usually don't get a response.

You're leaving a ton out. You just ask them where they go to school and after they answer that or some basic question like that, you immediately ask them out without any kind of transition or segue?

So it's like this? "What school do you go to?" "I go to blah blah blah university." "Cool, let's get drinks." Please just drop an example of a conversation where this happened.

__3__

This is twice now that this has happened and I don't get what I am doing wrong.

Are you serious? Twice is nothing. Online platforms are rather hit or miss, as a general rule. A lot of desperate guys. A lot of women with inboxes flooded with desperate messages and dick pics. In that environment, a lot of things are upside down.

In person gives you more control and awareness because you have all the feedback in person instead of wondering and theorizing what is going on or what the response is when you send a message that could be taken different ways.

__4__

Should I escalate more or?

You don't "escalate" over text. Escalation is a term we use to talk about physical escalation.

So I can only assume you mean something else like you're asking if you need to build more rapport or sexualize the conversation. There are problems with either of these:

You can't build rapport reliably over text. Over text, if you haven't met the other person before, there's no reliable reference point for what they're like and text can be interpreted in so many different ways. Add to this, the fact that people join Tinder to set up meets, not to have pen pals, and you really don't need to do more than have a little conversation and segue into setting up a meet.
Over text, if you try to "sexualize the conversation," it's going to immediately lump you in with all the other desperate guys trying to force the conversation into territory that hasn't been earned yet. Can you have a sexual conversation with a girl you haven't met? Sure. Is it a minefield where a million things could de-rail it? Yes. Is it necessary to do this? No, because even if she wants to sext or have a dirty conversation, more tension will build up if you don't give in to that and save it for in person.

Title	What am I doing wrong?
Author	EricH4753
Upvotes	1
Comments	2
Date	October 7, 2017 9:49 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/74xq9i/what_am_i_doing_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-am-i-doing-wrong.1434917 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434917

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