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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
__1__
if i fall in love with her
If? Let's get real, OP.
__2__
if ....she later rejects me i don't want to be heartbroken.
Again, let's be real here. If she rejected you now, you'd be heartbroken. Own it.
__3__
But she doesn't feel tension yet (her way of describing a spark i guess). she got dumped and the guy told her she was not interesting enough for him
But she doesn't feel tension yet (her way of describing a spark i guess).
she got dumped and the guy told her she was not interesting enough for him
Yikes. Well, you have a couple possibilities here, and you don't have control over which one will be true.
She's still not over this guy and the "tension" that isn't there, means that she's not feeling the danger of you being read to dump her like the last guy did.
Or "tension" means something else, and you really should have discussed what that meant, instead of deciding you "guess" you know. Like honestly, I can't really say much more on this point because you are missing this piece of information.
__4__
asks me all the time to come over and it's not just about sex. She really enjoys my company she says and is making a lot of plans for things she wants to do with me like hotel- and day trips.
Really, this indicates good things, though. For now, just take a big breath and realize that having the title of boyfriend or whatever, doesn't matter so much, as long as you are, for all practical purposes, basically a boyfriend at this point.
Of course, without the title, it's not quite the same, but really, just sit back and enjoy it instead of robbing yourself of happiness by focusing on its end.
[–]Altenator01 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for the reply! I guess you are right on the first 2 points. I always associated being in love with the "butterfly in stomach" feeling and those sorts of things but the fact is that she is constantly spinning in my head and i would be heartbroken if she decided to move forward without me, i think that is why i worry at over this matter.
You are right about the last point as well, having the title doesn't mean that much to me to be honoust because it is still very early (1.5 months) The thing is that it just confuses me because we have such a good time together and i don't see the point in telling me she misses tension while i don't notice that when i'm around her. Tommorow i will see her again and ask her what she means by it. Thanks a lot for giving another perspective!
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No problem.....!
Also, I'd recommend a phrasing like, "Before you mentioned missing 'tension,' What does 'tension' mean to you?"
And then just let her answer as she will. She may seem open into exploration of this. She may not be.
She may know exactly what her answer is. She may not and may need to explore it and poke around the idea to understand it.
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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Altenator01 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link