Is it a good idea to take the girl I'm seeing to Meetups and events where I might meet more women

recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-14T13:24:11+00:00

___1: This girl is a no___

I'm seeing/dating a girl but we are not committed. It's been several months and she hasn't decided either way and is seeing another guy.

If you've been seeing another girl for several months and she's still seeing another guy or has started seeing another guy recently, either scenario paints a girl who doesn't see you as a "fuck yes," or a "fuck no," which means you're still a "no." A convenient "no" that she still doesn't mind hanging with, but a "no," all the same.

___2: ___

That being said, I need to see other women but can't if I'm with her.

Right.

___3: Taking her to social gatherings; a terrible fucking idea___

One way is to go to social gatherings and meetups. Is it a good idea to take her along?

I don't understand. You JUST answered this. The answer is no. It's a terrible idea to take her.

Keep a casual girl that you're dating, separate from your other social activities. There's no point in having to complicate your possibilities with other girls.

Some girls will assume you're taken if you bring the girl you're dating casually.
Others won't care what your status is with that girl, they just won't want to deal with any thing they see as a potential mess or drama.

___4: The drawbacks massively outweigh the potential benefits___

I can still introduce her as a friend since we don't claim to be anything else. It gives me social proof, the only thing is that I won't be able to flirt with other women or take their phone numbers, which I can do later using the app.

Nah, see, it's a real tricky business what you're trying to plot here. And it's for not a lot of benefit, really.

You don't need social proof from this girl. You can get that on your own through interactions with everyone at those gatherings.
The flirting thing would be a Catch-22. Don't flirt at all or be sneaky about it, and you risk the girls picking up on why. (They're not stupid, they can figure it out if you're coming and going with that girl). If you instead, flirt and distance yourself from someone who's basically your DATE, you're going to come off as an ass to your casual girl, and others who pick up on it. (Again, girls are often way more on the ball, picking up the subtle undercurrents, than guys are.)

You'd have to pull off a lot of secret agent type stuff to get away with building any kind of playful connection that would be an adequate foundation for gaming some girl, while keeping it out of Casual Girl's sight, and keeping anything Casual Girl does to you, out of the sight of anyone who might pass it along to someone you don't want to know.

This is especially bad if you want something serious, in the end. Because if you pull the whole secretive thing off off with the girl, hit her up later online, and she isn't turned off by it, then you'll be left with a girl who doesn't care because she's only in it for something casual. Ironic, because you already have that, and it's apparently not enough for you.

___5: Are you leaving something out? Why are you agreeing to this arrangement?___

She's not the type of girl to agree to once a week fuck buddy and I can't just leave her cause she's with me on weekends. Lying where I'm going wouldn't be a good idea either

What is really going on here!?

She's seeing another guy.
She "hasn't made up her mind about you."
She has your weekends on lockdown.
You're implying that she pushes for meets with you more than once a week.
You're implying that she pushes for emotional involvement; like you guys are defined by her as more than friends and definitely not just casual sex.
You identify her as a person who could easily have a jealous outburst.
And yet you're still in a place where you apparently couldn't call her more than friends in public.

I'm going to be blunt. You seem to be leaving a LOT out, or this situation is WAY the fuck out of line. I don't know which. I do know that there's no way in hell I'd personally agree to such restrictions on my time while I'm single and casually dating.

She sure as fuck shouldn't have your weekends every week. And you definitely shouldn't be seeing her as often as you appear to be.

___6: It would be easy, if you were dating her as normal people casually date___

How do you guys meet other women if you're seeing someone for more than just a fuck buddy

It's easy. I don't schedule meets with them on the same days of the week every time. And I leave myself at least one weekend night to myself. If not a weekend night and a full day. And by the same token, THEY don't pull this bullshit of taking up my whole weekend, leaving me unable to circulate without her attached to my hip.

The fact that it's not this simple with you, means you're doing something wrong. You have drama because this girl is stringing you along, and yet you accept conditions that are unacceptable unless you're in a serious relationship. But she won't give you one. And if she's been holding out this long on you with that, then you're not getting one.

You probably need accept the possibility of losing her, and then have The Talk with her. This relationship you're in needs to shit or get the hell off the pot.

It's either casual, and she has no regular claim on your time.
Or it's serious, and that other guy is not in the picture anymore.

Maybe you're desperate and have been trying to wait her out in the hopes that she'll drop the other dude. Maybe now you're thinking that you need other people on the side to feel better about yourself. If this last is the case, you need to just dump her and get it over with. She's not going to cave in and become serious all of a sudden.

Title	Is it a good idea to take the girl I'm seeing to Meetups and events where I might meet more women
Author	relationshipthrw101
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	November 14, 2017 12:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7cv8sb/is_it_a_good_idea_to_take_the_girl_im_seeing_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-a-good-idea-to-take-the-girl-im-seeing-to.1436841 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436841

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