The question you need to ask yourself to truly start understanding seduction and social interactions in general is

Why?

That's the question you need to ask yourself. You need to ask it about literally everything and you need to ask it until you reach the bottom of every issue.

Everyone keeps telling you this is good, this is bad, do this, do that. You know that certain things work, but you don't know why they work. If you don't understand, you will never become a natural in game. I know at least for myself that I want attraction to be as effortless as possible. So start asking yourself why?

Think about the general facts that are stated as good or bad things here in /r/seduction . You need to start asking yourself: Why are these things good? Why are they bad?

Let me give you a few examples.

Why is chasing bad?

Because it is inherently desperate and needy.

What kind of person is desperate and needy?

A person who has no options, and never gets what he wants.

What does that tell us about the person?

The person is of very low value. That's why they have no options.

Why is confidence good?

It implies that you are used to getting things that you want. Things usually go your way.

So what does that then mean? Why would things generally go your way?

Because you are of high value.

Why is constantly texting a woman bad?

It implies that you are unsure of where you stand with her.

It implies that you are thinking about her all the time, which shows you have no options.

In short, this too implies that her value is higher than yours.

I personally believe that the one thing all of us guys fail to realize about attraction is that it all comes down to value. Think about it. We all want to get the 10. If we can't get her, we'll go for the 9. If we can't do that, we might settle for the 8. We are always trying to get the best we can. It's the same for women. However value for women and men works differently. Women tend to go for partners who are higher up than themselves in the social hierarchy. Women strive to be further up in the social hierarchy. Why? Because being far up in the social hierarchy feeds her validation.

Women's sexual value comes from appearance.

I don't really need to explain this, we all know this is true.

Men's sexual value comes from social value.

This one is less intuitive. The reason this isn't so obvious for men is because we don't perceive the world the same way women do. Women, much like ourselves have been evolutionarily built to seek out the highest value person of the opposite sex. For women, this means that they have been built to seek out the man furthest up in the social hierarchy, AKA the alpha.

This is why women respond so well to confident men. This is why they respond to men who lead. They are built to naturally respond to behavioural traits that signal high social value. This is also why women actually like fuckboys. This is why they like actors and artists. This is why they marry men with a lot of money. They respond to men of high social value. In different parts of their lives, this manifests itself in different ways. When you're 18-21 the fuckboy might be the one with the highest social value. Later on in life, it's the man who has a good, well-paying job.

This is also why pre-selection works so well. When a woman can see that other women want you, it implies that you are of high value. That's why when you have one woman interested, you'll often get more. This is why women seem to come in waves.

Women look at your behaviour. They look at your behaviour because it lets them know everything they need to know about your social value. Confidence, abundance mentality, non-needyness; what do they all have in common? They are behavioral traits that convey high social value. Only a man who has a high social value will act that way. That's why when men start overpursuing, women back away. When the man chases it implies that the woman has a higher social value than the man, which implies that she can do better than him.

So how does this affect you? How can you make this newfound understanding part of your game? Just understanding that being high value is important won't help you.

Every time you're in a situation you're unsure of, ask yourself "What would a high value person do?".

Say a girl flakes on you. What do you do?

You simply say something along the lines of "no problem, let me know when you've figured out your schedule". Then you move on. Do not intitate contact. Why is that important? A man of high value doesn't waste his time chasing women who flake. A woman flaking doesn't piss him off, because it doesn't matter to him.

Then there's perhaps the most important way you can implement this into your game. Start qualifying women. In every interaction SHE should be the one who needs to "prove" herself to you. She needs to prove her value. How do you practically do this? For example when you ask someone out, something as simple as saying "you seem like fun" before asking her out will get you miles further. Why? Note the word SEEMS. It implies that you're willing to see her, but you're still not sure about her. This in turn implies that she needs to prove that she is good enough for you.

So basically, always act from a position of high value. If you find it hard to do, ask yourself "What would a high value person do?"

I'm not telling you to put down women to bring your relative value up. Instead, make her qualify herself, or do it for her.

To conclude it all I would like to leave you with a thought. Why does seduction and love always feel like a game? Because it is. It's a game of always trying to remain the higher value person. When you ask her out, you naturally elevate her value and lower your own. When you initiate texting, you elevate her value and lower your own. When she chases you, your value naturally rises over hers. To successfully keep a woman interested, you always need to manage your value. Always keep the woman chasing you.