Day 30 – woman number 1 – Unknown

Before I get started I want to say that I’ve just had a girl send me this message:

‘This is really random but I’ve followed bits of your blog and your YouTube for ages and I think I saw you today around shoreditch but I was too shy to go up and say hello ?I was actually a bit starstruck lol but anyway hope you’re alright and your challenge is going well !?’

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In any event; for one reason or another, I didn’t feel confident about doing approaches today. Now I honestly don’t know why that was. I simply don’t have a clue, I just know that I was a mere shadow of my usual self and I spent the whole day in a state of trepidation about this challenge.

I’ll tell you one thing that’s weird about doing something like this, i.e. a personal growth challenge where the changes you experience are internal rather than external. What’s weird is that you can vacillate back and forth between different points along the path to your goal in a way you wouldn’t do with other endeavours. For instance, if you were doing a fitness plan, you’d make steady and consistent progress at all times. At worse you might plateau and see no gains for a while but you wouldn’t ever go backwards. You wouldn’t lose 10 pounds over 3 months and then suddenly put it all back on temporarily, but that’s exactly what happened to me today. It feel confident and I didn’t want to do it.

I walked past so many women who I’d have ordinarily approached that it started to wound my self-esteem and it took me until the evening to work up the courage to act. In any event, I was at Clapham Junction a few hours ago when I saw a brunette standing outside a pastry shop and told her she looked amazing. Now she thanked me for the compliment but didn’t seem overly enthralled with yours truly and the interaction was awkward.

After about a minute or so of slight uneasiness in which she was clearly waiting for me to leave, I made my excuses and split the scene to do us both a favour.

Woman number 2 – Unknown

Woman number 2 was a blonde who walked past me on the street. I stopped her and told her she looked incredible, and she smiled and said thanks but just carried on walking. As she walked off I felt both slightly disappointed and massively relieved that I’d gotten it done for the day.

EXTRA CREDIT: Woman number 3 – Unknown Woman number 3 was a businesswoman who was sat at a table tapping away on a laptop in Starbucks as I walked in. By this point, I’d obviously done my two approaches for the day but to be honest, despite how much I dreaded them when it felt like they were hanging over my head, once they were done I felt free and that freedom made me want to do more. She also just didn’t seem like someone I should have passed up on if I’m gonna speak the truth.

In any event, I walked up to her table and said:

ME: Hey.

HER: Hey.

ME: So I‘ve got a statement to make and a question to ask. The statement is that you look amazing. And the question is if I can sit with you for a few minutes.

HER: That’s so nice of you to say, but I really can’t because I’m working to a massive deadline. I’ve got work on that I should have handed in 30 minutes ago and I also have a boyfriend.

ME: No worries. And while I’m here; what sort of exercise do you do on your arms?

HER: Nothing.

ME: Really?

HER: Really, I haven’t been to the gym in a year; I’m just naturally strong.

ME: Wow, you’ve got hashtag good genetics. Anyway take it easy.

After I left her table, she carried on typing furiously for a few minutes and then vanished like the Flash so I guess everything she said to me was true.

Thoughts

Day 30 is officially in the books and I’m starting to enter the home straight of this challenge. It’s pretty weird to think that this will all be over in a few weeks. Also; I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before but bloody hell, my mental state plays a massive role in the outcome of these approaches. I felt low and restricted when I spoke to the first 2 women and it massively reflected our interactions but by the time I spoke to the third, I was more like my usual self and that also influenced the outcome. Curioser and curioser.

30 days down, 20 to go

I’ve written a free ebook which details 5 practical tips you can use to boost your confidence go here to download it. You’ll be taken to one of my blog posts and can access the form at the bottom of the page

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