Hi guys,

Beating approaching anxiety is ultimately a test of willpower.

The pre-frontal cortex - which is the part of the brain responsible for willpower - acts the same as a muscle. Studies have shown its strength depletes as it is used. It can also be made stronger, the more often you push it to its limits.

Below, I'll explain some habits that will build this muscle super-strong, but first it's important to understand why approach anxiety can sometimes feel crippling.

Why does approach anxiety 'cripple' you?

I got this epiphany when a gentleman in our dating advice Whatsapp group wrote to us after spotting a hottie sat in a cafe.

“What should I do?” he asked.

Most of the top top alpha males in the group said he should go introduce himself.

“I can’t,” he said.

I wanted to help this guy, but how do you respond to "I can't"? How does he feel like he physically "can't" say hello a girl?Having never suffered from extreme approach anxiety, I couldn't relate to this at all.

Fast-forward to the next day when I’m doing body weight exercises in the park.

“Just five more push-ups,” says my brain

“I can’t” said my body.

This reminded me of the muscle analogy.

Our buddy on WhatsApp hadn’t ever approached a woman in the cafe before. His willpower muscle wasn't big enough to do that effortlessly. Just like my arms weren't big enough for the push-ups.

So what’s the solution?

If you’re ever in a high-pressure social solution that you feel you don’t have the strength for, here’s what I’d suggest.

  • Try anyway. It’s amazing how strong humans can become in the moments that really matter.
  • If you can’t force yourself to do that, push yourself to your absolute limits. For some guys, that might be starting a generic non-flirty conversation. For others, that might be asking her for the time. Whatever you do, you’ll feel slightly stronger the next time you’re in that situation.

You’ve probably heard it hundreds of times on this forum, but the simple act of approaching will help you crush your approach anxiety, IF you push yourself to your limits enough times.

What can you do to strengthen your willpower muscle quicker

There are plenty of ways to build your willpower muscle other than just approaching a lot.

The following 7 habits will also have you approaching women fearless in super-fast time.

1. Get plenty of sleep

Your muscles won’t perform to their true capability if they’ve not had time to recover during sleep.

The prefrontal cortex is no different. It’ll give in to the easier option with far less resistance when you’re underslept.

This is why you’re way more likely to eat junk food after a bad night’s sleep (or after a stressful day).

Try and get at least 6.5 hours sleep to be at your happiest and most productive.

2. Eat smart

The Ultramind Solution by Mark Hyman is an incredible book about how your diet affects your mental health. Read this book and follow the recommendations.

At the very least, cut out all sugars. That includes the ‘stealth sugar’ high-fructose corn syrup.

3. Warm up

If you’re about to run some game,, prepare by doing smalltalk with a couple of strangers.

If you’re about to call a woman to ask her out, limber up by laughing with your friends on the phone.

If you’re about to compete in a cage fight, let your coach slap you around a bit first.

Warming up makes any scary deed much easier.

4. Meditate

Meditation trains you to escape your emotions and focus on the present moment, whereas anxiety is a emotion that lives exclusively in the future.

By practicing meditation, you can therefore eliminate fear from your life almost entirely.

There are dozens of ways to do it, but I’ve had great success using an smartphone app called Headspace.

5. Focus on the point of no return

Whatever activity you’re about to engage in, there’s no point in stressing about anything other than your first move.

In most instances, you have no way of figuring out what’s going to happen afterwards. There are too many variables at play.

So, instead of worrying about ‘what ifs’, get started.

If you see an attractive woman you want to speak to, just concentrate on saying ‘hi’. Anyone can say ‘hi’.

Just get to the point of no return and trust your brain to get you through the rest. Thinking any further ahead is pointless, and can overwhelm you out of doing anything at all.

6. Try daygame early in the day

Willpower depletes throughout the day. Just like your arms will perform a finite amount of reps on the bench-press, your brain can only make so many ‘brave’ choices before it caves in.

Eventually, it’ll fatigue and favour an easier, more immediately gratifying decision.

If you suffer from approach anxiety, why not try daygame during your lunch break.

7. Just quickly do the damn thing

Ultimately, our brain’s primary function is to keep us alive. It cares about nothing else nearly as much as this.

For this reason, we will always feel some fear in unknown situations.

Approaching a girl will always be an unknown.

Ultimately, the best way to overcome this fear is to just do the damn thing before our brain even has time to talk you out of it.

As I said before, it’s amazing how strong humans can become in the moments that really matter.

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AS MENTIONED IN THE POST, I'VE STARTED A PRIVATE WHATSAPP GROUP FOR MEN WHO WANT TO LEARN TO BE AMAZING WITH WOMEN. FOLLOW THIS LINK (on mobile) OR DM ME IF YOU WANT TO JOIN