Just a short tip, a realization of why it's recommended to 'open every set'.

I used to think I have to enter a bar, look around, spot sets. Order a drink, and while waiting for the drink, think about which set to approach first, second, and what to say, and so on.

No that's not how you're supposed to do it.

Then I thought about entering the bar, walking straight to first human you see, say the first thing that comes to your mind. Then second human, first thought, etc.

No that's now how you're supposed to do it, but if you do this enough times, you'll get somewhere (meaning you'll get better at opening sets, and saying the right kind of thing).

So what is it then?

Remember the casual moments in your daily lives where you're going about minding your own business, and all of a sudden you bump into a hot chick, and your lock eyes, and maybe there's a pause. You wonder how the fuck did you end up here. Maybe you give a sheepish smile (she most definitely gave a smile) and then you guys move on. And later you cuss yourself about why you couldn't say something.

What you do instead, is to always assume you're going to bump into some hot chick, everytime you're in public. And always have something short, and possible trivial, but relevant to the situation, like "nice weather, huh?" or if it's a big game "big game today, huh?" or something. It doesn't have to be something that she has to be interested in, or a girls have to be interested in. That's not the point.

So you learn to do these pre-canned openers, and everytime you use them, you move on casually. Yes. You move on, you don't now raise your expectations of her getting down to her knees and begging you to fuck her. You act like you always comment like that to strangers, whether men or women, and that you're all in all a friendly guy.

The point of these openers is, not to lead to success, but:

  • For you to get comfortable, and get better with casual and short comments.
  • For the lady to put her guards down.

When you get better at it, and do it enough, then you try it in a social setting, like an event or at a bar. What might happen is that a few minutes later, you're doing your own thing, maybe talking to your friends, or drinking at the bar, and you notice the girl you just opened and then move on from, is right in front of you but not looking at you.

Well she's waiting for you to do a second open.

The first time you made her let her guards down and think of you as a friendly guy. Then, after you moved on, she noticed she's lonely in this event. She goes like: I don't want to approach guys, but this one guy, who was friendly to me, and is not needy, might start a conversation if he can see me again. So I have to get into his line of sight so he notices me and think "Oh hey! she's the same girl I talked to just a few minutes ago. What a coincidence we bumped into each other again. Maybe I should talk to her some more."

And now you can proceed with further conversation or whatever.

Well, the caveat is that it's a somewhat semi-formal event. Unlike some bar scenes where the hot girls are being opened by a dozen guys per minute. In which case those girls are bored, and if someone is funnier than the rest, or something, probably gets more attention. But I hate those situations. Where guys are getting in line for open with set 1, then off to line 2 for set 2. Fuck that.