I'm very much stuck in a rut at the moment and am trying to work out exactly what it is that I'm doing for me to be in this position. It's been going on for years now, so I'd appreciate some help.

There's two major issues I have, and that is that I can't get a date, and I can't get laid. Some would say those are similar but usually someone has difficulty getting dates but will still score on the occasional weekend, or has difficulty getting lucky but can usually grab a coffee with a girl. I can't get either.

Honest to God, people have described me as handsome, confident, very social ("you know everyone"), and charismatic. I will admit to you that my confidence with women is quite shot at the moment because of the circumstances, but generally speaking everything else is in order; own place, career, car, hobbies, work out etc.

Last night, I went out looking my absolute best. I felt good. Not the best dancer, but I make an effort and I'd argue more than perhaps others. As the night drew to a close, I was surrounded by people coupled up and me on my lonesome. I've never been able to pull, it's just never happened. Girls don't look my way so I can't make eye-contact and approach, I've not ever had a girl try to dance with me and such like. Why does this happen to me? And just as an additional note; the group I hung out with was almost all girls. Women that know me are definitely comfortable around me, but these were my friends...so no-game.

And same with dating. I can generally get matches on Tinder, and conversations flowing, but landing a date is the tricky bit. I'm speaking to three girls currently, and all of them say they are interested (and also tend to compliment me by saying it makes a change to meet a genuine lad on those apps, for better or worse), but they're always "busy" or bland with their replies etc. Unfortunately meeting people IRL isn't an option because my career is extremely time-consuming so I don't have much opportunity.

I don't know if it's a vibe I'm giving off or I don't look approachable / friendly or I'm just unattractive or something. I've asked around, been to counseling, posted my pics on the net. No one has been able to offer me advice that has actually helped (and believe me, I've tried).

After four years trying, at this point I'm starting to believe I'm just an undesirable guy.