Introduction

There are a lot of things we would like to be able to do with women, take her on a instant date, bounce her from the club and back to your place, keep the friends occupied while your buddy moves in on the girl he likes, if its gonna be a while before you see her again you want to have good text interactions with her so that she stays attracted to you, and some of us just want to be able to talk to a girl on a date without it getting awkward.

But often its not that simple. We can't just learn the techniques and be able to apply them right away. There is something that gets in the way of us making the moves we really want to make with women: the fact that sometimes we just fucking run out of things to say!

Sure we hear all kinds of advice like, "just say whatever comes to your mind" or "it doesn't matter what you talk about what's important is how you talk about it" but if you're anything like me that advice is not enough. You don't want to just force yourself to come up with something to say, you want to be aware of exactly what you can do to generate a topic of conversation and keep that going as long as you want so that you aren't just playing a guessing game and just repeating "say whatever comes to your mind" over and over in your head hoping that you will have an epiphany.

So I wrote down this simple guide that talks about things that are so easy to do you can do them right away in your next conversation.

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She gives you clues all the time

Understand that everything she says, does, wears, sounds like, looks like, is a clue that gives you a lot of great ideas for conversational topics.

Examples:

If she says she works in marketing...

  • You can ask her what she loves/hates about it.
  • You can think about what kind of person would go into that line of work and make assumptions off of that.
  • You can talk about what you know about marketing
  • You can get her to tell you the background story of how she ended up where she is now
  • And anything else that comes to mind...

If she stands with a wide stance...

  • You can talk about martial arts
  • Fitness
  • Dominance
  • Relaxation
  • Lesbians
  • Giving birth
  • Flexibility
  • And anything else that comes to mind...

Now I know that the second set of examples might sound like they just came out of left field but it actually doesn't matter. If she says or does something that reminds you of anything you can just start talking about that. Notice how a topic arises from out of nowhere at times when you're talking with you friends, that's how it happens, they do something or something in the environment happens that reminds you of something else then you just start talking about it. You don't need to to tell them what reminded you of it, just start talking right away.

At the core of this "running-out-of-things-to-talk about epidemic" is the fact that we filter ourselves. If we simply allow ourselves to say what is on our mind we would always have something to talk about.

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When she says something, respond with a statement before you ask her a question.

Believe it or not, always asking questions after she says something is abnormal behavior when you're trying to have a conversation.

To understand this better go into your text messages and look at a thread where you're not discussing work, school, or some sort of meeting, find something where you're just shooting the shit with a good friend.

Notice how most of it will be you guys making statements and responding with statements to each other's statements and only asking questions not to progress the conversation but only when you're curious, want to know something, or want to clarify something.

Constantly just asking questions is an interview not a conversation and its boring because its not interactive.

A conversation is like tennis, you don't want to be serving over and over while the person on the other side just catches the balls and rolls them back over onto your side, you want to hit the ball back and forth between both sides.

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Sometimes we skip over 10 minutes of conversation without noticing

Lets say a girl says she's from Paris. A huge mistake to make is to say, "Oh. What brings you here?" Because you could have talked about Paris for a good 10-15 minutes at least before moving on to why she's here.

This touches back to the point where we said everything she does and says is a clue and the Paris example is a huge clue because she's from there! Talking about it will definitely elicit very strong emotions from her that not only cause her to contribute a lot to the conversation but also bring her one step closer to falling head over heels for you which is the ultimate goal after all.

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She feels awkward too

Sometimes we're just too focused on ourselves. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. Its a bad thing because it never occurs to us that maybe the other person is also feeling awkward and racking their brain trying to figure out what to say. But its a good thing because if you are aware that the person you're talking to also feels pressure to keep the conversation going then you can just put all the pressure on her.

Since she is likely to think that she's the only one who can't come up with anything to talk about, if you just sit there relaxed with an easy smile on your face, not saying a word, as if you're waiting for her to say something, she'll be the only one feeling the pressure and she will be the one who will work hard to pull a topic out of thin air and even if its the most lame topic ever she has already given you something to work with because you already know that anything she says or does is a clue.

This is especially great to do when you have one of those moments where you just go blank. Its like your mind lags all of a sudden. Before, you would have panicked and maybe just left feeling defeated but now that you know that she also feels pressure, when your mind goes blank you can simply stay quiet and just look at her knowing that she will come up with something eventually and you won't need to be the awkward one.

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Ask open ended questions

I started with seduction when I was in college. During that time I often had two guys that I went out with to meet women. After watching me doing an approach they would often ask me things like, "Damn, she was hot. What sorority does she belong to?" or "Does she live on campus?" and I often would not be able to answer those questions because I never asked girls those questions.

The problem with asking closed ended questions is that they have definitive answers and once you give that answer you don't need to say more. If I asked a girl, "What sorority do you belong to?", "Kappa Nu" or whatever the name of her sorority is will be enough of an answer. What's worse is if I ask her if she lives on campus, all she really needs to say is yes or no. Just a one word answer. If your amazing, that would be enough of a clue to go on but if you're just starting out it would help if you got more clues by getting her to say more words. So as a beginner myself at the time, once I find out the girl I'm talking to is in a sorority I don't ask her which one, I ask her why she wanted to get into one in the first place. That's an open ended question that has no definitive answer so that allows her to talk and talk and talk and if you stare at her silently, she will genuinely believe that maybe she does have more to say and therefore feel pressured to say even more. The more she says, the more clues you can go on so that when you finally decide to pick up some of the weight, you'll make holding the conversation look very easy.

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Make her feel good about her involvement

This ties in perfectly to the two previous points. When she feels an awkward silence and says, "Um...ahhh...so...what's your major?" you should say, "That's a really good question..." before you answer her or maybe make her guess. Aside from also feeling awkward, she is also second guessing her thoughts about whether they would be good enough to bring up so if you reassure her that its ok, this will just open her up even more and get her to loosen up and start getting more and more free flowing.

The same is true for when you say "Why'd you join a sorority?" and she says, "Honestly most people will say they do it for the sisterhood and whatever but I just wanna party." and you respond with, "I like you. Most people aren't that honest and cmon' nothing wrong with a little partying is there." which will likely prompt her to go, "Yeah of course not!" and maybe launch into why you should enjoy your youth or whatever all because you made her feel good about opening up.

People recommend that you neg and tease to build attraction. They're not wrong but just make sure you do it at the right time. You don't ever want to punish a girl for contributing to the interaction so when she says something like, "I just wanna party" you'll be so tempted to neg her in that moment but hold it in just for a while and reward her first. When that's done, you can neg her all you want. It might look something like this:

Her: I joined a sorority so I can party!

You: Nice! Nothing wrong with that, college is supposed to be fun. (reward)

You: But you look like someone who likes to have a little too much fun. How many times have you woken up not knowing what day it is? (neg)

Her: Hahaha! Not too often!

Always reward good behavior.

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Finally, steer the conversation towards commonalities

When you have everything in place, you can pick up clues, you respond with statements, you capitalize on topics, you put some pressure on her, you ask open ended questions, and you make her feel good for contributing, you still need to have a direction. That direction needs to make the conversation so effortless to keep up so that you can forget about actively using everything we discussed here and shift your focus onto the cooler moves that you've always wanted to do.

Its like, "Keeping the conversation going is no longer a concern so its time to bust out those cool new techniques I just learned on r/seduction!"

And the way you do that is by steering the conversation towards commonalities.

Its simple really. Imagine something you spend a lot of time on, are really interested in, have many opinions on, and are very knowledgeable about and imagine the girl is the exact same way.

Remember how we talked about you being naturally good at conversation with your friends? This is why. The fact that you are friends with them means you must have common interests.

So lets say you're a huge fan of baseball and she happens to be a huge fan too. When you find that out about each other, you guy's would end up talking about baseball all day.

If you forget every other tip about conversation then just remember to focus on finding commonalities.

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By the way...

A lot of you have sent me direct messages asking for my advice because you read a comment or post I made on this sub, just like this one, and found it to be very helpful/insightful/meaningful and I'm happy to say I've been able to help you guys so much more because of that.

Here's the problem: More and more messages are coming in and I really want to help but its getting hard to keep up.

So I've decided to put together a Telegram group for you guys that want to improve your dating lives and want to actually understand the psychology behind our interactions with not only women but also with ourselves and people in general.

If you want to be part of a group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message with your Telegram username.

As long as you're serious about getting better with women I'll be more than happy to welcome you in.