Is it bad to not validate women?

recyclablebanthas · 2018-11-28T05:06:38+00:00

1

I feel I shouldn't ask them out this weekend again bc exam season is in a couple weeks, they prob gon say no.

No way to know unless you ask.

2

So I've been making fun of them sometimes , idk if this is consider begging but like some times calling them dumbass genius w sarcasm and in q joking manner. I think this has an effect on their interest in you but definitely NOT doing it all the time bc theyll just think ur a dick or an asshole.

Teasing is one thing, but yeah, if you take it too far or lean on it too regularly, it backfires and comes off like you don't feel good unless you're taking way from someone else.

3

I feel I shouldnt tell them they re beautiful or validate them in anyway and keep them chasing it or I'd lose them

Compliments and appreciation for people is fine.

That's not what the adjective, "beautiful," is. That word or any sort of adjective in isolation, is meaningless without context. Maybe she has an artful or beautiful way of folding something that shows special consideration or something she does that's stylish.

That sort of thing would be meaninful. Simply sucking up with compliments that have no context, is pathetic.

Avoiding giving anything positive their way, is also bad, in a different way. It becomes clear when you're keeping score in that way, where you don't do anything nice or make sure to counter-balance it with snide sarcasm when you do. And it's a bad, insecure look.

4

as an fyi, my objective as an 18M tsking gap from university, is to keep them on a leash but not do anything serious like gf etc.....

I'd recommend dropping the idea of keeping anyone on a leash. That's not game. That's desperation. When you're casual, if you're doing it right, you HAVE to be prepared and ready to just let any of them go at any point if they want out.

Otherwise, you're headed into insecurity and neediness.

fromsouthernswe · 2018-11-28T05:18:19+00:00

It's fine to "validate them" just be careful with how often and when. I like to say things out of the blue.. like when it occurs to me, during a conversation, during food cooking or while watching a movie perhaps.

And remember the importance of this is in my opinion these two things 1. 95% of Their "validation" comes from text and damn you so hot drunks in the bar.. it's not genuine and it's not good to write these things. 2. They get confirmation ALL the time by these sleaze peeps.. primarily on text.

I promise you, you will notice catching them off guard when you do it in real life, sober.

Taking it slow is all fine and so.. but.. your intentions and your attraction must be conveyed so that they understand that you are not friends.. don't tell them about your problems.. etc, I've noticed.. the less they know about you the better it is for you.

I've had the friend card tossed at me 2 times in my life. Because I failed in conveying my interest.. they go like "but I like to be around you, we be friends" I usually reply "No can do bro, I already have friends and I have no Intention of growing the circle"

Making fun bit is great, but once again must be genuine. If they take it too serious? Too bad. Their angry feelings will most certainly pass. Well if you step over the line an apology is of course the way to go.. otherwise let them deal with it by themselves.

Key takeaways based on my life:

Validation in real life is fine as long as it's not often and it's genuine.

Making fun of them is all fine as long as you don't take it to far.. they are people

Good luck with the dates.. and give us a report on how it went :)

Title	Is it bad to not validate women?
Author	TheGreatTitanic
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	November 28, 2018 12:27 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a10tws/is_it_bad_to_not_validate_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-bad-to-not-validate-women.1457576 https://theredarchive.com/post/1457576

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