Have I fucked up yet? If not, where do I go from here?

420castle · 2019-02-24T23:20:33+00:00

bro, if she's talking to you then that's a good sign. you should just suggest meeting up for coffee soon

recyclablebanthas · 2019-02-25T04:20:21+00:00

1

.....I'm honestly kinda scared to say anything that gives off any vibe other than friendly.

Then, she casually mentions this party, and said something along the lines of "It would be really cool if you went"

So she apparently didn't mind that you're shy, and maybe found it charming. Enough that she invited you to a party, hoping to see another side of you or get to interact more with you.

2

So I decide to go, even though I fucking hate parties more than anything. I took some shots and smoked a little weed before I left.....

......we're there for like 3 ish hours and nothing really happens, didn't really get the chance to do all that much since the friend was there almost the whole time.

Your account of the party is ridiculously vague. You say "nothing really happened," but the truth is that you were interacting anytime you were around her. Non-verbal: eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, etc. Verbal: anything you said or discussed.

There's a whole fucking range of stuff that "happened" and you are leaving it all out. :P I guess if you didn't stick a penis in a vagina, you think nothing happened. Well, the problem with this mindset is that you don't get to penis in vagina or even kissing, without social interactions. Since you have left all of those out, we have no idea if you've made progress and unintentionally ignore it, or if there's nothing going on at all really.

The fact that her friend was there, means nothing. She still wanted to spend time with you. Were you expecting sex or making out at the party? This is a bit of a misconception or stereotype that ignores so many good things that happen at parties on the way to more things happening. If you don't get your head on straight and find a way to relax and enjoy this process, then you'll risk unintentionally alienating girls by focusing so much on expectations that you stumble off the path that would lead you do what you want in the first place.

3

There were some points though where I feel he might have been trying to go out of his way to leave us alone.

Irrelevant. You shouldn't have been expecting alone time with someone at a party. Parties are for socially mixing and interacting in public. Not in private.

4

So after that I get home and I'm still talking to her through dm's.

She's demonstrating some interest here if she's doing this.

I don't think she's NOT interested cause she stays up late talking to me but the conversation doesn't really go anywhere flirty

Couple things here:

It's good that she was staying up late to chat with you, but expecting this, is unrealistic because it's not always possible for people to text for long periods of time.
Flirty means playful. It's not hard to be playful if you don't take yourself seriously.
But if you're talking about blatantly sexual conversation, there's a pretty well known concept in seduction that such conversations often lead to utter failure. The conversation doesn't need to "go anywhere directly sexual," if that's what you mean. In fact, trying to drive the conversation to sex before you've had it, is a great way to fuck yourself out of sex or anything more.
I know you want certainty, but the mistake here is thinking or expecting to get it before you act. You need to physically escalate with her to see things head into a sexual direction.

5

So where do I go from here is my question. Is this a lost cause yet?

The next step would be to invite her to hang one on one. She's more than opened the door for you to do this.

It's only a lost cause if you keep focusing on your expectations instead of paying attention to the moment and to her.

It's only lost if you keep thinking of time spent interacting with her as a loss or as "nothing happening," instead of paying attention to all that's happening.

It's only lost if you keep sitting there asking what to do and don't DO something simple in return; think, man. She already stuck her neck out to invite you to do something, and you're sitting here wondering what to do.... just invite her to do something, one on one!

Title	Have I fucked up yet? If not, where do I go from here?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	2
Date	February 24, 2019 7:02 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aub7fg/have_i_fucked_up_yet_if_not_where_do_i_go_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/have-i-fucked-up-yet-if-not-where-do-i-go-from.1463113 https://theredarchive.com/post/1463113

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