This isn't really about women at this point, it's just about self-actualising. I've took a good couple of years out of the dating game to try and figure out my emotional pitfalls.

At some point in the last few years I developed a mentality that I need to always be 'on call' for others, in particular friends or family. I will actually halt my entire day's plans just in anticipation of being asked or invited to do something by them, so I can guarantee that I will be there for them when they call.

They haven't called me over yet, and they may not. But if they do, and , then...I can't even make sense of what my anxiety is telling me. I've done something 'wrong'. I should have been available. Especially given that my niece is there this time and I haven't seen her for a whole week. Does going to the gym make

It's most pronounced with family. I always felt a need to over-compensate investing in time with them. I was the sibling who stuck round to console my dad when Mum divorced him, when she started going out most nights hitting the bars (long past that now, she's happily re-married) and when my brother and sister buggered off to just immerse themselves in their high school experiences. I put mine on hold to deal with this. My brother doesn't live in the country any more and barely ever calls. He's also a successful professor and getting married next month.

Why am I so afraid of not being available when 'needed'?

edit: I think I may have also inherited this from my dad. He used to pathologically put others first at the expense of his own needs. To this day, for example, when his girlfriend is working away from home (she's a solicitor and has to juggle several jobs), he'll do an 8-10 hour shift *and then drive to hers to cat sit while she's not home. They're much older though and have been dating for some 7 years, so I think that's very different to my situation...