This is my first post here and I visit TRP frequently and am becoming quite acquainted with the principles of TRP knowledge and what it takes to become an Alpha. I have recently swallowed the red pill and am working hard on the path into becoming an Alpha.

Background: My Dad is a Beta and throughout my life I've always been the "nice guy" and I feel like I’ve been sort of formed in his Beta mold.

Sure, I've had my fair share of flings but looking back it wasn't at the level it should've been for someone like me.

-This summer I had a thing with a girl only to be cheated on while I was away on vacation.

-This year of college I was dumped after a 3 month relationship.

This is my freshman year of college. I started out as a very dominant Alpha. I met a girl from my floor, who was attracted to me and my red pill attitude. We decided to pursue a relationship only for me to digress back into my Beta ways and subsequently got dumped. This was also my first real relationship- I feel that should be made known.

RP Enlightenment: I discovered TRP fairly recently (after these relationship failures) and it has made every thing more clear to me. With this newfound knowledge I was able to reflect on the similarities in my failed relationships … I WAS A FUCKING PUSSY. I was way too “lovey dovey,” I was way too fucking easy to open up my feeling and share with them, and I would send many texts in a row, I was waaayyyyyy too insecure about myself - always feeling sick when they went out thinking they were cheating on me, I lost all sense of mystery, dominance, everything… I was left with nothing desirable that a bitch wants.

My college relationship that I stated above started off very strong, I held true to my (unknown at the time) Alpha RP principles. I didn’t open up to her, I had a badass nature to me, generally didn’t give a fuck.

I was the “asshole” and I knew I was and I was very happy with that and it worked!

BP Digression: However, as time moved on I fell into the traps that she set, she would get upset if I didn’t tell her what was bothering me, so I opened up to her, let her into my deepest emotions and secrets, I expressed my insecurities to her, I expressed too much love for her and as a result paid the fucking price in getting dumped, which crushed me.

More RP Enlightenment: One thing I have realized was that while I was trying to be an “Alpha” to these girls, it was really all just a façade and I didn’t realize that until I gained more RP knowledge. I have realized that I have to better myself first. Something I most definitely didn’t do. I even put them before myself… About as blue pill as it gets and I paid the price.

The present, my worries, and avoiding the BP lifestyle: Today I am working on bettering myself first and embarking on a healthier and purer lifestyle. I am starting to hit the gym, I am building my confidence, I am making healthier choices, and am working on permanently engraining TRP into my body. No longer will I succumb to the BP lifestyle… or so I hope, which is why I am here asking you all for help.

I have this new girl in my life who I am using as practice of my new RP knowledge and it is so far working out. (Any tips to help prevent me from fucking up again?)

I have realized the error of my ways but I am worried that I will fall back into the nice guy mold that I have lived in my whole life that has fucked me over time and time again. I have always been aware that “nice guys finish last” and that I was a nice guy yet I somehow keep falling back into the same fucking parasitic nice guy pussy no matter what.

Why I am posting here: How can I avoid digressing back into being a beta and the blue pill lifestyle? I could really use any advice or anything to help me.

TL;DR I was about as BP as it fucking gets, it has cost me greatly. I am now following the RP path but I am afraid I will fall back into old BP ways. Here seeking for advice and help.