My life is in order but I have no idea how to stop being a virgin loser

2019-09-02T23:41:00+00:00

Imposter syndrome. I’m just recently coming out of a long bout of it. Basically the objective facts of who you are don’t match the mental identity you’ve created for yourself.

Just realize your identity is something YOU constructed. You identify as the guy that isn’t worthy or can’t get girls. This is all in your head. To fix it you just gotta “lie” to yourself that you can get any girl, that you can charm any girl, that you are the player everyone wants to be. It will feel like you’re lying to yourself but you’re also lying to yourself by identifying as the guy that can’t get girls. Once you’ve done that you have to take action because only taking action will help you believe your new positive “lie”

jimmiepop · 2019-09-02T22:57:17+00:00

First off, and most importantly, excellent work, brother. All the stuff you have sorted is far more important and difficult than women. Nicely done.

How do you plan to learn game?

(That is what's missing.)

ilikepie145 · 2019-09-02T22:44:27+00:00

Fellow 21 year old male virgins unite! 🤜🏻

tiny10boy · 2019-09-02T23:59:33+00:00

Get a shitty retail job. It seriously helped me just to get used to talking to people and being friendly.

rational_rai · 2019-09-03T00:21:48+00:00

Hey u/dontgodry. I'll try to shed some light on what you're going through as someone who has been in the same boat ( and to an extent still am ).

In order to fuck a girl, she has to want to fuck you. If you interact with her, and you guys don't have that natural chemistry ( i.e. you want to fuck her, she wants to fuck you ), then you kinda have to work your way to that point. The wetter / more enamored with you you get her, the more "lets ramp this up" indicators she'll give you. For me turning a girl on, turns me on, and the more turned on I am, the easier it becomes for me to say and do the things that get her going.

Notice that in the above paragraph, expressing sexual intent is a common theme. You start somewhere ( basically at the level of chemistry you have with her ) and then you figure out the things that get her pussy flushing.

It seems like you may not be very comfortable expressing sexual intent ( because like you said, you don't really have any experience doing it ). Well, guess what my friend! In order to get the experience you want, you've gotta go in the field and practice. It's hard to fuck a girl that doesn't know you want to fuck her. It's hard for a girl to fuck a guy when shes not turned on. It's hard for a girl to not a fuck a that makes her pussy gleam. Learn to make her pussy gleam, and then do that. How to learn? How to learn to do anything? Practice. Try things that you think will work: sometimes they won't, and sometimes they will. Eventually you'll have figured out enough of the things that work, that in most situations you'll be able to get her to where she needs to be ; ) .

One last important thing: Be happy. Focus on being happy. Focus on being happy and content. Happiness is really fucking attractive, and it makes a lot of things in life more attainable. See things how they are and don't read into them too much. Don't think negative things about yourself, or other people. Think practically, and if you have something you want to change, find out what you can do influence things in the way you would like and do that. When you try something and it doesn't work, it's not because you suck and you should kill yourself, it's because you did something that was ineffective, which is typical when you're learning how to do something.

...

Having said all of what I've said. I've got a challenge for you. The next time you see a girl that has so much sex appeal that she instantly gets your gears churning, you walk up to her with an honest smile, extend your arm out for a handshake and say: "Hey : ) . I like you. Want to hang out sometime?".

Let me know how it goes. I'm rooting for you u/dontgodry !

sjeter99 · 2019-09-03T00:34:28+00:00

I would probably start by not calling yourself a loser virgin

imgayforpharah · 2019-09-02T23:14:25+00:00

wait where do you live.... you sound like a great guy I’d be glad to help you out

superplc · 2019-09-02T23:23:09+00:00

Props to you in the amount of effort you’ve put in order to better yourself! It takes a lot of courage to decide you want to be better. On the outside, you’ve put plenty of work to better your chances however, inner game also plays an important role when it comes to portraying higher value to women. I recommend you read “the book Of pook” this book explains common misconceptions men have of women as well as how to think higher of yourself. You are a hard working, adventurous man. You are the prize! Women should be trying to get at you!

Title	My life is in order but I have no idea how to stop being a virgin loser
Author	dontgodry
Upvotes	15
Comments	8
Date	September 2, 2019 10:40 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cyw9bk/my_life_is_in_order_but_i_have_no_idea_how_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-life-is-in-order-but-i-have-no-idea-how-to-stop.1477626 https://theredarchive.com/post/1477626

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