So me and my friends smoked weed. I decided to go out and approach nonetheless. My friends were tired and so they left at around 10 pm. I was high and still wanted to approach.

I go to this club where with latin music. Now, I know salsa/bachata. I am tripping at the club. Instead of dancing, I am so lost in my own thoughts that I forget where I am. I don't want to dance.

Voice in my head: "FUCK THIS SHIT, YOU CANNOT DO IT. WHAT IS THE POINT. YOU ARE GOING TO GET REJECTED AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN."

I still am there. I see a very hot chick dancing near me. I ask her to dance. She flinches and gets flustered. I am standing there calmly and not reacting to her reactions. She says to her friend "why don't you dance with him?"

So her other friend comes along and happily dances bachata with me. I am so good at dancing right now with all the spinning and holding her. after the dance she leaves.

Then for 30 mins straight I am just looking and just standing there while the music plays inside the club. This hot chick that I approached is looking at me and wants attention from me. So she starts dancing with her friend in front of me deliberately to have some attention. I am too tired of witnessing this shit over and over again.

I am acting weird at this point. I say hi to some other girls and they just reject me from the get go. So I feel guilty, shameful and leave. I should have stayed longer and interacted with the hot girl by just talking. But like I said, I was high and could not control my thoughts, or emotions.

I leave and I meet my other 2 friends. One, having a very "give up. I am a virgin/loser and never going to get laid" vibe. "oh man, why don't we just go home. Don't do this." But I still go to atleast bars/clubs approaching girls.

I go to this one club and see this girl sitting with her friend. I just start talking to her randomly. Now, just chatting up normally. There is no fun/positive vibe left in me. There is this vibe which gives off this underlying feeling "am I good enough? I don't want it to fail. Fuck, I want to make it work." I know it and she knows it. Then, just to make up a joke and lighten up the mood, I say " are you guys lesbians?" To which she gets really offended for some reason.

She: why do you say that? can't 2 girls be lesbians? what is your problem?

Me:*getting negative vibes from her**gets scared* "oh I did not mean to offend you"

I don't have the emotional capital to turn the interaction around. I say "yeah" "you are being bad. You are not good from the inside."

She: No, really. What is wrong with being lesbians?

Me:*JUST STANDING THERE SAYING TO MYSELF "stay a bit longer, a bit more longer here. You can do this."*

Her friend: we are having a private conversation. Please leave us alone.

Me: hahaha, *ignores her friend* So, what do you do?

She: you would not know the company. I am a graphics designer.

Me: oh cool is it Nvidia or Melanox?

She: it is a very small company. *looks disinterested.*

Me: *say something. stay longer here.*

Her friend: can you leave us please? we are not interested.

So I leave. I go to other clubs and get rejected left and right. My friend who is witnessing all of this takes me to a bar. On the way. He says to me: cmon man you have to scream "FUCK IT ALL, FUCK BITCHES."

I do it. I jump with my friend there screaming and suddenly, all the negative vibes disappear for a moment. I am so full of aggression and positivity and awesomeness. He is laughing with me.

We go to a bar. The other friend who is a virgin left us. I say to him "fuck you man. you don't even try. Stay virgin. Anyways *sigh* have a good night."

We are inside a cafeteria/bar. My friend says: Man, back in January you were so bad at talking to girls. Now I see you. You have improved so much. So much progress man, You can go up to girls and be so chill. That is worth celebrating.

Me: thanks man. I really appreciate you saying that.

He: yOU MOTIVATE ME MAN to approach and talk to women. I know you feel frustrated and shitty. But it is a part of the game. You are improving man. You don't see it

Me: ok I have a gameplan. We will talk to them till the very fucking bitter end. I want you to wing me.

He: YEah man. let us do it.

So we approach another set. She rejects us. Then we are tired and it is 4 am. We decide to go home.

Things to improve upon: Don't smoke weed and talk to women. You do not have control over anything basically.. Stay longer in the interactions STAY MOTHERFUCKING LONGERRRR! I should not let emotions affect me.

Things I did well: approached approached and approached. Kept my cool at some instances. Danced bachata with 1 girl and was awesome. Should have talked to her longer.

in the end. It is what it is man. It is okay :) Just stay positive and keep hustling.