"Live life on your terms." It's not meant as a 'catchphrase' for our brand. Rather its meant to be taken literal, I genuinely believe ALL of you guys should be living life on your terms.
The first essay will explore the "Why" behind this teaching, the second will explore the "What." What happens when you stop caring what other people think; the benefits that will come to you for adopting this way of living.
The opposite of this teaching is to live life in 'other people's terms' or in other words caring what people think about you.
Unfortunately, this is something very difficult to accomplish since its counter-intuitive. Almost everything in our life is made so that we care about what others think about us. It's also very difficult to write about since I've been trying to write this essay for a while but I can't seem to write it without getting existential. However, I'll try my best to write a very condensed version. I'll do a larger version sometime in the future, but I want to get this essay out there.
Origin
The origin of caring about what other people think about us comes from our parents. The relationship between the US and our Parents is very unique and radically different from that that we will have with other people. Our parents are adding unconditional value to us(Shelter, Food, Affection). Most of the time they are not expecting anything in return. In contrast, most relationships with other people are based on value transactions(money, goods, a good time)..etc. Or even you are used to seeing the same people over and over again. This tricks us into believing that just because you are seeing them over and over then it means that they have a form of "special bond" with you. When this isn't the case.
What happens if you don't solve this?
You can potentially get permanently stuck in an unfavorable situation. This is very important and that is why I've decided to write it upfront as opposed to waiting. I remember my friend who was overly concerned with what his parents thought of him. He got a high paying job in finance but he hated his job and he wanted to quit. He managed to quit but even now he has a large corporate job. He could be doing something he genuine enjoys but he really can't overcome the "caring what people think" aspect. He had a strong game equal to mine yet he could not become better since he did not want to get an IG since he felt that his "co-workers" would find out what he did and judge him..etc. He, as well as my other friends/acquaintances, are still living the same life. They did not start their own business(even if they had the money to make it happen) and they didn't do any 'leverage game' they are still training with the same scammy coaches who are bad at game doing 15 approaches a night. What I'm trying to tell you guys is that their lives did not improve, there was no 'gold' at the other side of the rainbow for any of them, despite consuming massive amounts of 'self-help' material they are still in the same place. Fortune only favors those who are brave.
Six Reasons why you should stop caring what other people think about you
1-Existential Reason
Life doesn't go on forever, and even if it eventually does you don't want to spend eternity working for someone else. Or living anchored by what your parents, extended family, siblings, uncles your boss thinks about you. You need to take action and be unafraid to fail. If you fail the worst thing that can happen is that you have a foundation to keep on trying. If you are very set on achieving a goal you will make it happen.
2-Societal Reason
As I'm writing these there are tons of riots going on in Latin America. It makes me realize how fragile stability is. Societies can be stable one day then all of a sudden one spark of rebellion can change everything. This is why even the most cherished values of a given society can be flipped around. Why should you live according to those values someone else created when you can create your values? This doesn't mean that you should have your moral code where you harm others. Rather it means that most of the 'strongly held traditions' are based around conventions and nothing more. This means that you should be able to 'rise above' those conventions. What does this mean? For instance, if you have
3-Media Conditioning
Almost everything the media tells you is the opposite of what works. For instance, the media always tells you that you should NEVER let go of relationships with other people. When in fact you should be ACTIVELY be letting go of relationships with others. It sounds incredibly counter-intuitive but this is what will make your life much better. For instance, in the movie, "Crazy Stupid Love" the main character wants to get his wife back AFTER she has cheated on him. You should NEVER do this. If a girl cheats on your then cut her off and don't look back.
4-Individual Reason: Most people do not have the same life experiences as you do
This is key. Most guys think that the people around you are going through the same experience they are. When in fact is likely most people have it worse than you do, while a small minority has it much better. For instance, when I was growing up in my neighborhood I always wondered my close friend didn't want to improve his life. Like the media taught me I wanted to help my friend, "improve" his life. However, this leads to a clash with my friend. Later I found out that his family was going through a divorce and his life was a living hell. The same with other people in my hometown would rely on drinking to deal with their problems.
5-Most relationships are transitionary
This reason is HUGE. Unfortunately, it is likely so far you have been living as if you are going to hang out with the same people your whole life. However, this isn't the case. It's likely you will hang out with them only for a period of your life. For instance, I remember when I was at Columbia University for the summer and I met a bunch of geeky kids, I was friendly with them and ended up hanging out with them for two months but later we never saw each other again. Sure there are social media and you can 'link-up,' but you can also delete friends and block them. The problem is that when you go to summer school or when you go to a new place you are trying to 'fit in' with these people or trying to "JOIN" their group. When in fact, you should try to CREATE your own friend group, your own social circles. If your current group is hindering you and you think you have nothing common with them cut them off and start from scratch. This is something that most people are afraid of doing but BELIEVE ME, once you do it you'll have an immensely rewarding experience. In fact, I would say that this is a pre-requisite to construct an awesome life.
6-You will be hated, regardless of what you do
Everyone who has ever been successful has been faced with this dilemma. It doesn't matter if they were musicians or entrepreneurs. They can take the 'leap of faith' but they are stopped since they wonder, "What if people hate me?" The answer is: they will hate you. And that is fine.
I remember I was at Laughing Buddha last year with a Ukraine girl. And this comedy tried to tool me. He didn't expect me to answer back! He was hating on me for having a girl while everyone else didn't bring anyone and awkward hipsters.
But more seriously, every time you are successful in something or have a strong vision this it will draw in people who hate that and who don't want you doing it. The only thing you can do is to continue doing it.
Conclusion
I've been trying to write this essay for a while, I'll revise it in the future but I'm glad I got it out there. Next week, I'll write on "What are the benefits of not caring what other people think about you." Moreover, I will write about the importance of boundaries when dealing with people
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