I am hung up on my beliefs of being a nice guy, wanting love before sex or sex with love, and being seen as weak beta or worse because I fell for a friend whom doesn't see me that way...

2020-08-24T11:35:44+00:00

It sounds like you are coping with your rationalization. Ask yourself what you really want. If you want to be with someone, you need to attract them. So lose the weight, etc. if you don’t, continue what you are doing by living the same lifestyle.

Attracting women at the very least gives you the option to be picky and find something that goes with your ideals, ex: you are looking for true love, but if you can’t attract people in the first place then the philosophy is pointless.

ED, etc, I think can be fixed by improving yourself. Hit the weights, play sports, and the blood will flow. Improve and your confidence will rise, etc.

Sounds like you will have a rough start man. Think of it as learning a new video game, or learning new moves. Research, practice, and with the right consistency you will make drastic changes for a better life.

norwegiandoggo · 2020-08-24T17:57:50+00:00

It's so much easier to develop a relationship if you are already having sex with someone. I'm not sure of the actual process but it's like a hormone gets released after having sex a few times and the girl feels this intense need to be with you and lock you down into a secure relationship. The dating advice subreddit is full of girls asking what to do since they are just casual with a guy for a while but then boom now she has feelings for him. It's so common I bet if you check the last 10 posts in that subreddit at least one of them will be some girl lementing this.

2020-08-27T02:12:20+00:00

I get this stuff is hard, but so much is just existing in your head. I think what you need to do first is work on yourself - work on your health and work on your confidence. Not that you aren’t worthy of love or connection now, but I don’t think you would trust it right now if you had it.

pooinmypants12 · 2020-08-24T12:06:27+00:00

Haha, right now you are way too much of a loser to have any chance of attracting a female. You need confidence and self worth and you have neither of those.

“Wasted energy for little reward” - you get nothing for free buddy, better to try hard and fail than not try at all, that’s the masculine attitude you need to have to be attractive. Perseverance through the struggle.

So either man up and improve for your own sake or roll over and die a miserable death. Also don’t fantasise too much over your friend and make her out to be “the one”. That’s all in your head and you probably have a skewed view of her - best to imagine she is riding new dick every weekend instead of putting her on a pedestal.

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