I approached a girl yesterday night during my daily walk, there is a lockdown and only 1 hours of physical activivty is allowed. I am not sure if everything i wrote is in the was exact chronological order.
Approache: excuse me, some practical question blah blah. Then i asked for her accent, she said she is from Mexico and studying here. I gave her a hug, and said you mexicains like hugs you probably miss it. We hugged; i gave her a neg saying my mother warned me from mexicain girls. Changed subjects and i let her invest in the conversation and asked questions, listened to her, she asked back some questions, then i suggested that she walks back with me, because she was walking the opposite direction of me. She complied. Then i felt she is drugging her feet and i thought she doesnt like to go back the same road so i stopped for a bit on the river.
When we were walking before we got to the river i had my head turned to her most of the time and giving her intense eye contact, but she only looked at me briefly. So after a while i also stopped looking and lookd ahead of me because it felt wierd to giver her eye contact when she does not.
On the river i leaned back and she was standing there, i said i like her style (which is my usual puller, but she was just wearing sport so i was just on auto pilot), and we both like dance so i would like her number to have a drink, she put her number on my phone and her name. There was nother isabel on my phone and she didnt know what to do so i said put "isabele capoeira" because she likes capoeira.
We talked about her hobbies, she said she likes to dance, so do i, we found a favorit dance group we like, i pulled out a video and took her by her hands and we started dancing on the river, there was no one there. We had some fun. Then i pulled away from her, dancing from a bit afar, so she feels the emptniess. After a while i got back closer, escelated a bit by pulling her close and she objected.
I showed dissinterest back by looking on the dance video instead of giving her attention. The she said her room mate is waiting for her. I walked back with her for another 5 minutes. She asked me questions about my countires favorit food blah blah. I responded then i verbally escelated by saying that i heard mexicain girls are open minded. she asked what do i mean, and i mumbled something about being open minded for sexual encounters.
She didnt respond well to my generalisations about mexcian girls being 'open". I attampted to calibratea after the fact, when she didnt like that i said mexicain girls are open minded sexualy, i said that i mean that they are warm people
Then i wanted to qualify her and i asked what she thinks about umm umm umm sexual fun or something like that, i could not find a right way to say it, and i did not want to say "one night stand". What i was trying to do is qualify her if she open for a sexual encounters. She said it depends with whom. I said sure. We talked gain about food, she liked falafel and i seeded the idea of her coming to my place by saying i have good ingridients to make falafel (which i had not but thats what i came up with).We talked for another 2 minutes but the conversation lost a bit the flow, she was walking way faster ahead of me and gave short answers, saying her mate is waiting for her for dinner, and that i should text her. I said ok, went for a hug and she gave me a fist instead, i said good night.
What i did good:
- I pushed myself to open in a situation i did not know how it will end
- I was sponanous and followed the bliss in a sense
- i remembered to do some bouncing and ask compliance
- i let her invest- i was interested in what she had to say
- i talked about my interests, nodded and good body lauganuge
- I opened escelated right away naturally with a hug
- I attampted to verbally escelate- i bounced- i let her invest- I seeded the date
- I did an instant date
- i physically escelated
What i didnt do well
- My verbal escelation was too early and not in the right moment, a bit forced into the conversation while we were talking about something else.
- I gave intesne eye contact when she did not give it
- I asked her to walk with me the same road that she just came from instead of me walking with her on her direction or just standing around
- My hug escelation at the end of the encounter was not in the right moment
- I did not qualify her
- i did not relate enought, but instead changed subjects, i was not interested enought because we were walking and she didnt give eye contact, so i was in my head about it
- I was a bit overly in my head at some parts
- i gave her 2 shoulder bumps one close to each other and the second was not really "justified"
- I used a nag when it was not nessacry to spike motions as i had a great IOI from her and comfort
What i will do better next time
- When i am winning, no need to push it too much with being overly gamy. Just feeling enought and spike emotions sometimes.
- Qualify more
- Escelate verbally in calibrated way as this is a key moment in the interaction, so be a winner at that moment
- Don't be over gamy when things are going in my direction
- Convey high value and let her see that and just let things happen if they do
- stay more on one subject
- be more cofuces on finding communalities untill there is an hook point
- When she shwoes disinteres i will show disinterest back, and not intensify my interest
- I will break rapport when things are getting boring and focus more on keeping comfort and building comfort
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