I posted this in /r/matureseduction, but figured I'd post it here also. There are many of you on this forum who are reaching "intermediate" / "advanced" levels of game. This post is meant for you and it'll help you solidify your confidence and results.

As a rookie, you were encouraged to hit the field and put yourself out there as much as possible; talk to everyone, approach everyone, and leave no stone unturned. You were supposed to get as many reference experiences as possible. (It’s good for your growth)

But as you start seeing success and reaching “intermediate” or “advanced” stages of game, you don’t need to approach everyone.

It’s actually BETTER to turn away opportunities and say to yourself, “Yeah, I could get that. But, I don’t want it.”

Example…

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As your dating and communication skills improve, you’ll begin to attract more opportunities than you need. Your newfound confidence and “aura” will do a lot of the work for you.

What would you do in this situation? Would you hit her up? Or, would you let the opportunity pass?

Here’s what I’d say: it depends on how much you really want it.

In this specific situation, it seems like it’s within reach, and with some effort, the gentleman could land the hangout. But it also seems like more a “nice to have”. He doesn’t seem to want it TOO much. Given that she didn’t reciprocate much over the last couple of months, I’d just go with the flow and do my own thing. If she re-engages, great. If not, that’s cool too.

Ultimately, you should just follow your intuition and do whatever you feel like doing, not what you think you “should” be doing.

This brings me back to the Pillars of Attraction:

19) Do whatever you feel like doing. You should get into the habit of doing whatever you feel like doing, whenever you feel like doing it (with the exception of anything that’ll harm your career, put you or anyone near you in grave danger, or anything that’d directly harm someone). For example, if you don’t feel like texting someone back right away… Don’t. If you don’t feel like going out on a Saturday night (even if on paper it’s the “cool” thing to do), don’t. Start playing by your own rules and following your intuition. This will further develop confidence in yourself, your actions, and your choices. The World is your playground.

The behavior I want to instill and encourage within you is to play by your own rules.

Technically, per “game” and the PUA Community’s dogma of maximizing every opportunity, you should 100% follow up with her and seal the deal.

However, if you don’t FEEL like doing that… then don’t. Fuck the rules. Create your own.

Ultimately, what pillar #19 teaches you is how to trust your own intuition and feel confident in your actions. Being able to play by your own rules subcommunicates self-trust. Self-trust an indicator of high-value. The more “value” you have, the better you’re perceived. The better you’re perceived, the more alluring you become. Self-trust is a classic attraction trigger. It only makes people like you more.

The other Pillar I’d like to reference here is this one:

8. Abundance Mentality is King. Adopt the idea that there are going to be many opportunities that come your way. Just because one turns out bad doesn’t mean you should be hard on yourself or become pessimistic. With that said, an abundance of opportunity also means that you intentionally decide to pass up on not-so-great opportunities (I.e. dating someone who you work with, dating your best friend’s ex gf, etc).Know when to play, know when to fold. And don’t worry, there will be several more opportunities coming your way.

I want to instill a deep, unwavering sense of “abundance” within you. Especially as it relates to dating and relationships.

As you move up the social totem pole, gain more value, and prove to yourself (and to those around you) that you are, indeed, “the shit”, you don’t need to pursue every opportunity…

In fact, when you reach higher levels of status, chasing every opportunity is COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. What’s a gentleman who’s a “10” doing chasing a “7”? Does he not value his time, focus, and energy? A truly confident and self-fulfilled man is okay turning away good opportunities for great opportunities. He’s confident in himself and his abilities that he can manifest better-suited options. He’s optimistic about the future, even if he doesn’t necessarily know what’s around the corner. Again, this level of deeply ingrained self-trust is an undeniable attraction trigger. One that works every time.

Abundance is the understanding that there will be many more opportunities coming your way. With that said, it also means letting certain opportunities go.

In this specific example we’re referring to above, it seems like the gentleman isn’t THOROUGHLY excited about taking up the opportunity. So, why take it?

Over time, saying NO to certain opportunities will make you feel more confident. It’ll make you feel like the “chooser”. The problem a lot of guys face is that they’re the ones constantly being rejected, but never the ones doing the rejecting. They put every opportunity that comes their way on a pedestal. Which, in turn, subcommunicates “low value” to those around them. Which, in turn, diminishes attraction.

“I am afraid of not getting another shot at this, so I’m going do everything I can not to screw this one up”.

That’s a scarcity mindset. Not abundance. It’s insecure behavior, which is an absolute attraction and value killer.

Anyway, to close the loop on this. What did the gentleman in the example above end up doing?

Well, he provided us with this update…

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https://preview.redd.it/ch3pr07juo561.png?width=1242&format=png&auto=webp&s=424a213fad41ac987e5c1ca1a9d9c83885b99b7f

“Felt good to punt this one away…”

This is how you become a high-value, alluring gentleman that easily earns respect, commands a room, and builds attraction.

Say “no” more. Dismiss more opportunities.

I challenge you to pass up on one dating opportunity this week. Report back.

Yours truly,

-Laz

PS: Although the Pillars we referenced today were strictly within the context of dating and attraction, don’t get it twisted. These pillars are HIGHLY APPLICABLE to other areas of life. For example, career and interviewing. Not all organizations deserve you. Make sure to vet opportunities and decline “good ones” for greater ones. Being able to show up to the table with a sense of authority, self-confidence, and self-trust is going to blow away hiring managers (particularly when most applicants are coming to the interview table feeling like THEY’RE the ones who NEED the job. When really, in many cases, its the company who’d be lucky to have the candidate).

Think bigger picture here with these pillars and you’ll find confidence spreading to all other areas of life.