I posted my story in r/askseddit. I’m basically right at the beginning of getting into game, and I’m a late bloomer(25M). The first serious revelation I’ve had is that I had always been a ‘schemer’. I would be ‘nice’ to the girls I liked- just so I ostensibly had a point of leverage; all of my actions were predetermined and plotted, and I ultimately needed their approval.

Fast forward, and I’m working a job where I have to be very engaging. I work in tourism. This job has put me in a mindset that I never would’ve thought was possible. I feel confident, funny, and secure for the first time in my life.

And, imagine that, I’m finally getting attention from girls. Though, there is one girl that caught my eye, who happens to be a distant coworker. She’s my type, and has a sort of ‘physical compatibility’- for a lack of a better term. I approached her a little over a month ago, which was good, but I just realized I relapsed into my old behavior. I was more forward- flirtatious, then I had been in the past, but I made old mistakes. As time has progressed with my encounters, I’ve been thinking about exactly what I would say to her, I wasn’t REALLY listening to her, and I was hung up on every arbitrary reaction she would convey.

It’s interesting seeing the contrast between behaviors that are attractive, and the thought process that leads me into acting like a more insecure man. Food for thought.