So, not my normal sort of post, and I will probably wind up deleting it, but here we go:

I've been sick for 5 months, now; unable to work, even from home, I just don't have the concentration to do anything for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. I can't even play video games that aren't turn-based, and not well, then.

First I thought it was something I ate, then I had a string of presumptive diagnoses that turned out false (congestive heart failure, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, etc), until my 4th ER trip the doctor said that my thyroid hormone was off and to ask my regular doctor about it.

Regular Dr will not listen to a word I say, tried to put me back on blood pressure medicine that almost killed me last time. I ask about thyroid, he looks and says it is fine, asks about stress, and I say I was under terrible stress for years (child support, ended last year), but not anymore.

I go home, look on the Internet, 15 pages of journal articles about misdiagnosing thyroid problems because most Drs are using out-of-date lab values. I grab my labwork, go to American Thyroid Association, by their standards, I have Hypothyroidism. I call my Dr back, they transfer me to the head Dr, who tells me to go to the ER (for the 5th time) and talk to someone.

I go to the ER, and they have ordered a psychiatric evalution (?), which I refuse (mostly because the psych was being confrontational and rude, partly because I've been through that before and don't have the best opinion of the field; I just got up and left), so they have security (?!) escort me out. I call to complain, they tell me to come talk to someone at the hospital, and when I get there, it's security, again, this time trespassing me for sitting in a chair and waiting after asking to see the person I was talking to.

At no point in time have I been loud, rude, threatening, or anything else; I am a big guy, but I'm polite, calm, and even jovial, to the extent I can be while feeling like death, but they are treating me like I've threatened to shoot the place up or something.

Security, in particular, were being actively provocative; I was much bigger than this guy, but he kept cutting off everything I tried to say, getting in my face and yelling so that I had to back up, then grabbed me by the arm and tried to pull me to the ground while I was walking out the door (I jerked away and squared up to him, which finally seemed to make him figure out that if I was actually violent, he was in serious trouble, he backed up and I left without further incident).

What am I supposed to do, now?

First problem: I still can't get treatment; I've just been sent around to every place they could think of (other than the obvious), milked dry (no insurance, I am having to pay out of pocket, while unemployed...), and now told not to come back. I can order the medicine from Canada from a place that doesn't require a prescription, but it comes in very specific doses and is really supposed to be dialed in precisely, or it just doesn't work (or makes you hyperthyroid, which isn't good, either).

Second problem: The main local hospital (we have 3; the other two have even worse reputations) has trespassed me for, I guess, not agreeing to talk to a rude psychiatrist and/or trying to complain about him. Do I need to call a lawyer? Do I need to call the police on the security guard for assault (they have cameras)? This happened yesterday...

Third problem: Clearly, they don't treat all men this way, but I am 6'3" and 275#, a middle-aged white guy in flannel and jeans, and for some reason, am being perceived as a threat... or made into one? This genuinely feels like the kids on the school playground trying to provoke another kid into doing something stupid to get him into trouble; it would be pathetic if it weren't happening in the supposedly-professional medical community.

Fourth problem: It's Spring and I need and want to be outside doing stuff :)

Sorry for the rant, thanks for any support or ideas, HAND