Based on talking to divorced friends and people in a divorce care group I'm in, it seems like there are two mindsets when it comes to relationships after divorce. The first is the "I need to find a much better wife than the last one", and the second is the "No effin' way I'm going to get married again". I've only been divorced for about a month, but I am firmly in the second camp and have no immediate desire for another relationship, let alone marriage. Is that where most men start, then eventually come around to the possibility of marriage again? Or do most men more or less stay in their core mindset after divorce?

Here is my situation for context. I'm 49 and was married for 20 years. Two kids with the ex (14 and 16 years old). I filed for divorce after years of her treating me like crap and not being financially responsible. There was no cheating by either of us. I'm still living in the house, waiting for the QDRO process to be complete, so I can use that money to buy a house.

Thanks in advance.