We have been married for 6 years and together for 8. It’s really been only the last year and a half that my wife has been quite distant emotionally from me. She doesn’t talk much over the phone, it’s always me that has to carry the majority of the conversation. Despite her being the one that always calls me, then she’ll start a chat (how are you?) then expects me to just keep talking. (Long pauses of a couple of minutes if I simply refuse to talk)… if I ask her what’s up she’ll simply deflect any issues and try and make me feel like I’m crazy.

The main thing however is the issues in the bedroom. There are times where throughout the day or night she’ll give hints that she is feeling horny. And I let her know that I feel the same, but then it just appears that she is disinterested during sex, weird eye rolls (like she’s bored), lays there like a starfish, makes a frustrated sound when I try and put her on top or into some other position than missionary. She’s dead silent during sex and avoids any eye contact. I don’t understand why she would initiate sex (most of the time) then act the way she does during it. Then are the times where I try an initiate it and she just acts the same. I have on those occasions asked her what’s up? Is she feeling ok? … and she always replies “yeah of course I’m fine why?” I think To try and get me to inform her of the negative things she does so it looks like I’m picking on her. It appears from time to time she enjoys being a victim. I really don’t know.

I always tell her, “if you’re not feeling it, just tell me, it’s all good you don’t have to” (on those occasions where I had initiated sex). She replies with a “oh ok sure” in a defensive tone as though I have some ulterior motive.

Then I’ll tell her, seriously I’m happy to “sort myself out” if you’re really not up to it… but she’s just replies with a “you’re being weird” Then gets upset that I’d rather “finish myself off” than let her give me a BJ.

I’m quite sure she’s attracted to me as she initiates it most of the time, but regardless if she does or I do it always ends with her trying to make it awkward.

We have 2 children together and I feel like she’s just going through the motions of what she thinks a good house wife should be.

I’m so confused. What should I do?

TL; DR; wife no longer talks to me over the phone, and issues in the bedroom